They'll Never Stop Us
by bagof4grapes
Summary: Biggs Darklighter has been Luke Skywalker's best friend since they were teens on Tatooine, but when he survives the Battle of Yavin he changes the course of galactic history, and Luke's life. Alternate universe, M/M.
1. Chapter 1

Cover artwork is mine. The full version can be found in my Deviantart gallery. There's a link in my profile.

* * *

_Beginning to feel like a waste of space, Luke wonders why he continues to stick around with his Anchorhead friends who barely notice him. Then he meets Biggs Darklighter who changes all that._

* * *

They _were_ his friends, Luke told himself. In fact, Windy was once his best friend. They'd practically grown up together after all, and at one time they'd shared many interests. Nowadays it seemed that Deak had taken Luke's place and all Windy was interested in was staying right here on Tatooine and becoming a moisture farmer. He said it was safe and reliable and Luke was crazy for wanting to leave and get involved in things so far from home. Maybe Windy was right but then Luke always liked crazy ideas. Either way, they'd drifted apart.

Still, the group was together more or less: Deak and Windy, of course, then Fixer and his girlfriend Camie came along. Similar interests or not they were some of the few teens in the sparse outskirts of the Anchorhead region and really, what else was there to do? Luke enjoyed their company though, even when Fixer began bragging about his new skyhopper and how he was going to become the best pilot around. That's when the races started. Someone gets to bragging and the egos shoot through the roof. It was only a matter of time before someone tried to prove Fixer wrong.

At first Luke could only watch. He was younger than the others and didn't have a skyhopper of his own, told by his uncle that they were too dangerous and he'd have to earn one by being responsible, whatever that meant. It was just like Uncle Owen to give him a vague ultimatum and then not stand by it later when it really mattered. Luke would prove himself, do everything he was asked to do, avoid being grounded for a whole year, and Owen would still refuse. That's how these things always went.

It was quickly decided that they needed more racers to make it a better competition. Luke insisted that he could do it if someone just lent him a skyhopper but Fixer said that he would only bust it up and then they'd be in really big trouble. Either "your legs are too short, you can't even sit in one properly" or "you've never even flown one before, you'll crash". Of course no one ever let him try so whether or not he could was never tested.

They were his friends, the only friends he had, but sometimes Luke felt as if he was only around to take up space. He watched the races longingly, sometimes sitting with Camie and wondering what she saw in Fixer. He could never seem to stop bragging, especially when she was around, but she somehow stuck by his side. Sometimes it seemed like they were glued together. It was especially obnoxious when she started echoing Fixer and insisted that Luke was too short to do anything. He almost lost his temper on her the day she began calling him "Wormie" but he was taught that it wasn't right to hit a girl. Maybe girls who gave him annoying nicknames didn't count but he wasn't about to test that theory, especially with Fixer around who was almost twice Luke's weight.

One afternoon Fixer informed the others that he was bringing some new kids along to race. They each had their own skyhoppers and were even older than Fixer, though only by a year or two. One was a burly kid named Tank that Luke didn't know but he reminded him a lot of Fixer; a bad attitude and not too bright. No wonder they were friends. The other was Biggs, Huff Darklighter's son. Luke knew who he was but had never spoken to him before. The Darklighters had a heavy foot in the agricultural market in Anchorhead and were quite wealthy. Uncle Owen sometimes spoke of Huff though it usually included bad words that Luke wasn't allowed to repeat.

It was only natural that Fixer would want Biggs along to race. He'd allegedly had his own skyhopper since he was twelve and was an immensely skilled pilot. Word was he'd even been given lessons by some real star pilots who stopped into the local cantinas and were hired by Biggs' dad. That was just a rumor but it was a very popular one. It seemed everyone loved talking about Biggs, but then why wouldn't they? He was confident, handsome, witty, and always seemed to be the life of every group. People were drawn to him because he always seemed to know exactly what to say, what to do, how to keep them laughing, what stories to tell…

Biggs was the oldest in the group and even that first day of planning out their race at Tosche Station he was already calling the shots. Of course, he definitely seemed to know what he was doing which helped. Fixer's ideas were usually dumb and often ended up getting him hurt or in very deep trouble. They all listened to Biggs, especially Luke.

Maybe he didn't know how to fly yet but he was still fascinated by the logistics and mechanics of it. He listened closely when they talked about which engines had the most power per fuel cell or which wing angle gave the most lift. Then it was race time.

Luke had been hanging towards the back of the group. He was short and scrawny and wasn't all that noticeable anyway, but for the first time since he showed up, Biggs noticed him. He paused by the door of the power station and looked straight at him.

"Who's this?"

"That's Wormie," Camie chimed in helpfully, "He doesn't fly."

"I'm Luke!" He was quick to correct her, somewhat angrily, but then he looked back to Biggs with some embarrassment. Great. All he needed was for Biggs Darklighter to start calling him Wormie, too.

"Luke, you're not flying with us today?" Biggs seemed genuinely regretful and, notably, didn't use his dumb nickname.

"No. I don't have a skyhopper."

"No? Well maybe I can get my dad to loan you his old one. He doesn't fly m—"

"It's okay. I don't know how to fly one anyway." This seemed to quiet Biggs but he still regarded Luke with some remorse. It was true, though. The others said so. Luke couldn't fly a skyhopper so it was his job to sit and watch.

Throughout the afternoon Luke would sometimes curiously catch Biggs glancing at him, especially when Camie came by to tell him even more about how Fixer's skills were unrivaled. Luke's wrinkled nose probably told Biggs exactly what he thought of these stories and sometimes Biggs would smirk.

As the twin suns were setting and the group was getting ready to travel back to Anchorhead, Biggs called out to Luke who was about to hop into Deak's landspeeder. He motioned Luke over and, with a glance at Deak who shrugged at him, Luke complied. Biggs was standing by his T-16 skyhopper with the maintenance panel open. He'd been making some adjustments following the race, which he had easily won to no one's surprise, and said he'd catch up with the others later.

As Luke approached he realized that Biggs was grinning at him. "Come here, hop in."

Luke grinned back and then went to move to the copilot's side but Biggs grabbed his sleeve. "No no, kid, in here." He patted the pilot's seat with one hand and Luke gave him a wide-eyed look. His heart was suddenly pounding in his ears.

"Uhhh… I don't—I don't think I can reach—"

"Come on, I'll help you. My little cousin's shorter than you are and he can reach the controls just fine. Hop in."

Before Luke could protest again Biggs had already closed the maintenance panel and was on the other side, climbing into the copilot's chair. Maybe this was his chance to prove the others wrong. Maybe Biggs was right and he really could learn. Luke eagerly hauled himself up into the craft and settled down into the pilot's seat, marveling at all of the controls and gauges laid out in an apparently random pattern that made almost no sense to him.

Biggs seemed to notice his slack-jawed expression because he chuckled softly and then leaned over Luke's shoulder to point out the controls he'd need. "Alright, you've got this big mess of everything under the suns and your head's probably spinning but you really only gotta know a couple things. This," he rested a couple fingers on the joystick, "I'm sure you already know. Back is up, forward is down, left, right, no brainer." Luke knew that but he nodded anyway. He wasn't about to interrupt this lesson for anything.

"This right here," Biggs pointed to a red lever next to the joystick, "is the ignition. Lift it and you'll ignite the engines. Also pretty straight-forward." He continued to instruct Luke on the repulsorlifts, shifter, altimeter, tiltmeter, fuel gauge, and emergency eject which all made perfect sense once Luke knew what they were for and where they were located. The insane patchwork of buttons and screens and switches in front of him was starting to look familiar and finally made some sense. Now he could tell the others that he really did know what he was doing. Maybe they'd listen to him for once.

After quizzing Luke briefly Biggs lightly slapped his arm and settled back into his own seat, looking pleased. "Alright, strap in and let's get going."

Luke gave him a look of surprise. "You can't be serious. You want _me_ to fly?! All the way to Anchorhead?"

"Sure! Why not? You know what to do now and it's not hard. A few minutes in and you won't even have to think about it." Biggs was already buckling his safety harness and didn't look like he was going to change his mind any time soon. He looked far more confident in Luke's abilities than Luke felt but he strapped himself in anyway and then flipped up the ignition switch with a shaky hand.

The engines roared to life and Luke gripped the joystick with a mild panic, as if afraid that the whole craft would suddenly take off without him. Biggs was grinning next to him but Luke didn't seem to notice. He was too busy trying to ignore the voice in his head that was telling him he'd be grounded for a lifetime if Uncle Owen found out.

He took a deep breath and reached for the shifter, taking the repulsorlifts out of hover and into fly mode. The craft shuddered a bit under his inexperienced hand but it soon settled into an easy hum. Luke gently eased it forward and began guiding it slowly out of the mouth of Beggar's Canyon and out into the broad expanse of the Jundland Wastes.

He could almost sense Biggs grinning but he didn't dare take his eyes away from the viewport yet. "What'd I tell you?" Yep, that definitely sounded like he was grinning. "Go on, open her up. There's nothing out there but sand."

Indeed, the open dunes were a much less daunting place to practice flying and Luke certainly felt far more comfortable out here. He pressed the repulsorlifts for more speed and the skyhopper was easily negotiated into a nice pace across the sand, kicking up dust as it went.

"Give it some lift! Come on, get her off the ground. You fly like my grandmother." Of course Biggs was only teasing but it was just enough to give Luke the determined edge he needed. With gritted teeth and white knuckles he pushed the repulsors and pulled the joystick straight back towards his stomach. The skyhopper shot upward into the sky at an impressive speed and Luke guided it around into a clean arc over a high dune. Then he continued to let it climb.

Biggs was laughing and howling and soon Luke was grinning so hard his cheeks hurt. _This_ was flying. This was _really_ flying and he was doing it. Not only was he doing it, he was good at it! He used only the slightest adjustment on the joystick to send the skyhopper into several angled turns and swerves through the valleys between dunes and even dipped down to make a clean swoop through the broken, half ribcage of a giant Krayt Dragon skeleton.

Luke was quite proud of himself that even Biggs was gripping the edge of his seat through that one.

"Kid, you are a natural! Whoever told you you couldn't fly is a moron." Yes, well, Luke knew Fixer was a moron but coming from Biggs, that was quite a thing to hear. He was positively beaming by the time they made it to Anchorhead, bringing the skyhopper down into a reasonably gentle first landing.

Fixer and Camie emerged from Tosche Station and jogged down the steps to meet them but when they saw Luke climb out of the pilot's side of the craft both of their jaws dropped.

"You let _Wormie_ fly?!" Fixer almost looked outraged. "He coulda crashed and killed you both!"

Biggs laughed at him. "Are you kidding me? The flight was so smooth I almost fell asleep. Luke's a great pilot. Reflexes like you wouldn't believe!" The way Biggs was talking you'd think Luke had been the one to win the race through Beggar's Canyon today but he knew he definitely wasn't ready for that yet. Still, with just a little more practice…

"… and I'm going to keep teaching him. What do you say, Luke?" Biggs turned to him while Fixer hovered over his shoulder, opening and closing his mouth like a frantic fish. "Maybe someday soon we'll even figure out a way to get you a T-16 of your own. It's a good model to learn on."

Luke was barely articulate at this point and his legs were threatening to give out under him but he managed to nod enthusiastically. "Wh—Yeah. Yeah!"

"Great. You guys let me know when we're going out next." Biggs waved on Fixer and Camie as they headed back into the building and then walked over to Luke. "If you've got a free day this week I'll have you over and we'll take a look inside my skyhopper while I replace the power converters. It's important to know the inner workings of what's keeping you in the air. You fix things on your uncle's farm, right?"

Luke raised his eyebrows. He had no idea that Biggs had been paying such close attention to him when he complained to the others about his uncle and the farm. "Yeah, I work on the droids and vaporators."

"Perfect. We'll just do some basic maintenance but you'll learn a lot."

"Biggs, can I ask you something?" As great as these plans were Luke's mind was on something else.

"Sure, kid. What is it?"

Luke sighed and pressed his lips into a straight line. He wasn't sure exactly how Biggs would take this but it's something he'd been wondering since they left Beggar's Canyon and it wouldn't stop eating at him. "Why did you trust me to fly your skyhopper? You barely know me. I've known the other guys for years and they won't even let me touch theirs."

Biggs tilted his head to the side and answered him quite matter-of-factly. "Because you wanted to." It was almost too simple an answer but Biggs seemed quite confident in it. He even appeared troubled that Luke would ask such a question. "I couldn't see any reason why the others never let you so I took it upon myself. Anyone can turn out to be really great at something but no one will ever know if they don't get a chance to try it, and you know something?" Biggs stepped in even closer and lowered his voice, as if he was sharing something only Luke should know.

"I meant every word of what I told Fixer. You've got real talent. Seriously! You took those turns so fast I thought I was going to fly right out of my harness." Biggs grinned as Luke did and they both stood for a moment in silence.

Finally Luke spoke again, gazing down at the glistening sand under his feet, slightly reddened from the hazy glare of the setting twin suns. "It's just—no one's ever seemed so confident in me before. _I_ don't even feel that confident in me."

Biggs chuckled at him and patted his shoulder. "Well that's something else we'll have to work on. You gonna be out here next week?"

Luke smiled and nodded.

"Good. We'll have to get you in the air with the guys watching. That'll shut 'em up."

That definitely sounded promising. If Biggs Darklighter thought the others would be impressed then no way would Luke turn down such an opportunity.


	2. Chapter 2

_In no time at all, Luke and Biggs have become best friends. Luke's confidence soars and Biggs admits that Luke is one of the only true friends he's ever had, but Luke soon discovers feelings in himself that he doesn't know what to do with._

* * *

Luke would have sneaked off the property if he had to but luckily Uncle Owen was in a lenient mood and allowed him a free afternoon. It'd been three days since that first flight in Biggs' skyhopper and he hadn't stopped thinking about it since.

The Darklighter estate had a small landing bay with both skyhoppers and a few other craft and vehicles parked in it. Luke had never seen a private collection like it before but the best part about it by far was Biggs devoting the whole afternoon to teaching Luke everything he could with the time they had. Of course, he promised that it was just the first of many lessons which made it even better.

Then there was the friendly banter in between.

"Your uncle's gotta give in once in a while."

"Sometimes, when I get dragged out with you guys."

"Dragged out!" Biggs laughed. "Sure, you're just dying to get back into a skyhopper."

"… Well, yeah. But—" Luke was grinning back despite the rebuttal.

"See if I let you fly mine again."

"Hey, I get out of work when I can! Sometimes we're busy."

"I bet you never used that excuse with the others."

"All the time! The difference is with you it's not an excuse."

"… Yeah?" Biggs' smirk faded, really searching Luke's face for honesty.

"Yeah." Of course, Luke was being perfectly honest.

A broad smile. "… Alright then."

This was nice. Luke felt relaxed, happy, like he didn't have to walk on eggshells to please anyone or make special efforts to stay out of anyone's way. Not only did he feel accepted, he felt wanted, and he didn't have to do or prove anything to make it happen.

And then, _Biggs_… He and Biggs bonded more over just a few days than he had with anyone in his life. Luke would watch him demonstrate proper maintenance on his skyhopper but sometimes Luke wouldn't be watching the process. He'd be watching Biggs' deft and skillful hands, then his expression, the way his softly curved brows furrowed when he was concentrating or the hint of smile lines already forming on his young face, indicating he was someone who smiled a lot. His dark eyes were never hardened, never tense, but always seemed to be quietly searching, gentle, deeply caring, and when they were on Luke there was something about Biggs' gaze that made him feel unashamedly drawn in and irrevocably safe.

Luke didn't want the day to end.

* * *

Fixer was jealous. He hadn't been jealous of Biggs' flying abilities because Biggs was older, more experienced, and he'd earned his place as number one pilot in the region. No, he was jealous of Luke. The kid had barely been flying a month and he was already capable of maneuvers that Fixer had only dreamed of. However, Luke didn't have his own skyhopper yet so he still wasn't racing with the others and Fixer wanted it to stay that way. If Luke was able to beat him to the end of Beggar's Canyon he'd never live it down.

The whole group knew it and it was becoming the source of some contention between them. Fixer was even worse to Luke than usual and if Biggs hadn't been around Fixer surely would have attempted to make his life miserable.

Windy and Deak were fairly neutral on the matter and when Biggs wasn't there Luke stuck mostly with them, even if they were somewhat dull. At least they weren't making mean-spirited jokes at his expense.

Then the day came that Fixer was dreading. Biggs had convinced his dad to let him and Luke fix up his old skyhopper and get it running again. It was an older model but a good one and it only needed a couple replacement parts. It was clean and fired up in a matter of days and Luke was ecstatic to inform the others that he'd be participating in his first race. He'd been practicing and performing some pretty impressive times through Beggar's Canyon on his own. Now it was time to prove that Biggs was right and the others were wrong. Even Luke would be proven wrong, all those times he began to doubt himself. He _wanted_ to prove himself wrong. He was excited for it.

* * *

There had never been such a ruckus at Tosche Station before. The cheers and hollering were deafening and Luke couldn't see, his hair had been ruffled so many times that it was hanging in his eyes. Second place was far better than he'd expected to do in that ancient skyhopper and especially for his first race. Biggs was the only one he hadn't managed to pull ahead of but that came as no surprise to anyone. The only one who wasn't joining in on the celebration was Fixer, again, to no one's surprise.

"You must've cheated. There's no way you could have beaten me fair and square." It's clear he was fed up with it and had finally decided to speak plainly.

Fixer wasn't the only one fed up. Luke rounded on him with a newfound confidence. "Biggs beats you all the time. Maybe you're just not as good as you think you are." There was a sudden rush inside him. He'd never been able to talk to Fixer like that before. It felt _really_ good.

Fixer stood up, his face suddenly tightened with anger. "Oh please, Biggs is a cheater. His family's got all that money. Everyone knows he's been taking lessons since he was a kid."

This brought such a surge of anger and outrage rushing through Luke. He wasn't sure where it came from but he wasn't about to let Fixer get away with it. "Biggs is _not_ a cheater and it has nothing to do with money! He's just got more talent and guts than you'll ever have!"

Biggs had stayed quiet until now, when Fixer looked like he was ready to tackle Luke and start pummeling him. "Fixer, sit down." When he ignored Biggs and came at Luke with balled fists, Biggs quickly stepped between them. "SIT DOWN!" Even Tank looked ready to throw himself on Fixer if he had to. Then as Fixer finally, slowly complied Biggs turned around and looked at Luke with an expression he'd never seen on him before. It was somewhere between shock and gratitude, or maybe a mixture of both. There was something else there but Luke couldn't quite put his finger on it.

* * *

The night was cold in the desert. Wind swept sand around in soft clouds barely visible in the darkness but it could be heard, whistling and scraping over the dunes in the distance. The giant bantha pelt was more than enough to keep both Luke and Biggs warm on top of the lookout loft near the front of the Darklighters' property. It had been built with the purpose of watching for Tusken Raiders but it also made a nice sleepover hideout for avoiding parental supervision.

Neither one of them was necessarily hiding but Luke didn't much care for Biggs' dad and they both preferred each other's company far more than anyone else's.

They had climbed under the pelt to sleep nearly an hour ago but couldn't seem to quiet down long enough to drift off.

"Fixer looked like he was gonna kill you."

For some reason this brought Luke unexplainable mirth. Usually you worry when someone threatens harm on you but Luke simply couldn't take it seriously. After all, that's the only thing Fixer _could_ do and it was his helplessness despite his anger that made Luke laugh. "So what was I supposed to do? Just let him talk about you like that?"

"Oh, let him say what he wants."

"But it was a big lie."

"… Not really."

"Yes! It was! Biggs, why would you say something like that?" Luke's smile had entirely faded and his brows were knit softly at his friend in the dark.

"Because people say what they want about me all the time and it doesn't mean a thing." Even through the dimness Luke could tell that Biggs wasn't looking at him and seemed to be trying to convince himself of this more than anything.

"… What about what I said?"

Finally Biggs turned his head to Luke. "What you said?"

"Yeah." Anyone else might have guessed that Biggs didn't remember what Luke was referring to but Luke knew better. Biggs remembered. It stuck to him; it hit him hard and made him really think. The look he'd given Luke at that moment was one Luke would never forget. He'd said something that Biggs thought was profound and got to him in a way he'd never seen before.

After a moment of exchanged looks Biggs seemed to concede to the fact that he simply couldn't hide it, but he decided to take things in another direction. "Luke… why are you my friend?"

That was something Luke hadn't expected to hear and it took him a moment to answer in his surprise. "Wh—because… you were a friend to me first. And-… I guess because you're more of a friend than anyone else has ever been."

Biggs seemed satisfied with that response, even pleased. "That's just it, I don't know if anyone else would have answered that way. At least not honestly." He dropped his gaze elsewhere while his fingers absently played with a worn edge of the bantha pelt. "You know, Fixer only invited me to join the group because he knew my dad could afford whatever new parts we needed. I'm just a bag of money to him. And-… I don't know, I get used to letting people say what they want to me because in the end it's as if I don't even _have_ the right to defend myself. They somehow feel I don't have that right, just because I'm the rich kid or the popular kid. I've got everything I could ever want or need so why would I need _real_ friends?"

Since they'd met this was the first time Biggs had ever shown such vulnerability to Luke. It was a little alarming to see at first, the usually smooth and confident Biggs bearing his very real weaknesses and laying them out in the sand.

And Luke finally understood.

"You stood up for me, Luke." It wasn't a questioning statement or even really directed at Luke, but it seemed to be something that Biggs was still figuring out, trying out the words to see if they fit.

"Well… you did it for me first." To Luke that seemed like a no-brainer. Of course he would defend someone who treated him like a human being, saw potential and strength and encouraged him because he honestly believed in him.

When Biggs turned his head back to face Luke he was already looking at him, and they both grinned at the same time.

* * *

It was the warmth and slow movement of the body next to him that woke him up, much closer than he remembered. It was still dark and the wind still howled, and in that darkness Luke felt a warm hand reach up and brush against the side of his face. He gripped the wrist in mild surprise but only relaxed when he could see Biggs' dark, searching eyes staring at him and smiling calmly.

Slowly, Biggs moved under the pelt and climbed over him, resting his entire body on top of Luke's from head to toe, warm and heavy. His face was so close to Luke's and he was still smiling, so Luke could only smile in turn. His heart pounded and a heat pooled in his belly but he remained still.

There were no words exchanged and Luke barely even found himself questioning any of it. Biggs' fingers played in his hair and in no time at all their lips were touching. He could feel Biggs' breath warm and comforting on his face and it felt strangely natural to want more, and to get more. His hot, wet mouth and tongue sent fire down Luke's body and he reflexively pressed upward against Biggs' weight. Biggs pressed back, rubbed, circled his hips against Luke, coaxing a moan out of him.

Inexplicably Luke was naked but somehow this wasn't surprising to either of them. Biggs began moving down his body, licking and kissing the sensitive skin of his neck and chest, and soon disappeared under the pelt. Luke saw stars and his back arched against the woven mat beneath them. It felt like both an eternity and no time at all before a beautiful, exquisite pressure built up and then was suddenly released in a forceful wave of pleasure. It rolled up his body and made his toes curl, his fingers grip the mat tightly above his head, and his eyes squeeze shut against the bursts of light amid the darkness.

* * *

Luke woke up with a start and blinked blearily against the morning light. He was too warm and sweaty and started to kick the pelt off of him but stopped when he felt a cold, sticky wetness in his pants.

_'Oh no…'_

Somewhat fearfully he looked at Biggs who was still sleeping, turned away from Luke on his side. He could only see his dark hair and the pelt pulled up over his shoulder, slowly rising and falling. Luke felt his face heating up and he looked away from his friend in embarrassment. Gradually the dream he'd had was coming back to him and Luke felt some panic rising in his chest. He couldn't have anticipated this in a million years and it terrified him to think about what it meant.

He quickly grabbed his bag on the floor nearby, rifling through its contents for his extra clothes. Perhaps he could change before Biggs awoke.


	3. Chapter 3

_Terrified by his realization, Luke makes some decisions but he finds himself wavering on them. He and Biggs make plans for the future but they may have fallen apart before they could even get off the ground._

* * *

It was a day or two before Luke could bear to face Biggs again, even though Biggs was still completely oblivious as to what had happened that night in the lookout loft. Luke simply used the excuse that he had work to do, which he did, but he also needed to think.

There were a lot of things that scared him about all of this. When he was a small child he'd once mentioned that he would like to marry a boy someday. Aunt Beru had been kind but a bit unsure of how to respond. Uncle Owen flat out told him he couldn't, that boys only married girls, and that was the end of the discussion. Luke never mentioned it again.

He liked girls too, sure, but as much as he tried to reason out that his uncle had been wrong, that men had relationships with each other all the time on Core planets, he couldn't help but feel ashamed. Out here on the Outer Rim people were a bit behind the times and had some dumb, ignorant ideas about things, and Luke was terrified of what his friends would think of it. And he was especially worried about what Biggs would think.

Was his opinion similar to Uncle Owen's? Did he even like other guys? If Luke mentioned something, would it ruin their friendship completely? Maybe Biggs would find the idea too repulsive and just stop talking to him altogether.

Deep down there was a part of Luke that knew Biggs was far too kind and understanding to completely cut him off like that, but the fear was too strong to ignore. It was that fear that held him back, even when Biggs seemed to smile at him in a way that friends didn't smile at each other, or left his hand on Luke's shoulder for just a second too long. The fear told him none of that meant a thing.

What if he just didn't feel that way about Luke in return?

And why would he? Biggs was five years older than Luke. To him Luke probably seemed like a little kid. Biggs was good-looking and popular and rich and talented. Luke couldn't even hope to have anything to offer that might make Biggs happy. He didn't have any of those traits. At least, he didn't think he did.

Luke thought he was alright-looking but he was short and skinny and had absolutely nothing special going on at all. The fact that he was currently undergoing the most awkward of the awkward teenage years definitely didn't help things, either. Even if by some small miracle Biggs was open to the idea of dating other guys, what would he possibly see in Luke?

Even if there didn't seem like there was any hope, Luke couldn't stop thinking about Biggs. Those dark, searching eyes were always on his mind. Those eyes that looked like they might be brown from a distance because they were so dark, but if you got up close they were actually a fascinating deep grey-green with specks of blue and gold. They looked like the depths of an ocean after a storm blew through. No one else had eyes like that.

His hair was so black that in some lights it almost had a bluish sheen to it. It contrasted sharply with his light skin and was rather striking. It was straight and wispy and sometimes when it swept across his eyebrows Luke was nearly overwhelmed with the urge to touch it, to brush it out of his face. His face…

Chiseled features, a strong chin, cheekbones so sharp they could cut glass. His looks could almost be described as _elegant_. His brow line was soft but strong at the same time, and even when he was casual and joking around he looked so caring, like there was always some deep conviction hiding underneath, a secret he had yet to share with anyone.

Luke wished Biggs would share that secret with him.

In the end, though, it was decided. There was no way Luke could risk what they already had for something that would likely never happen. Unless by some small chance it became absolutely clear that Biggs felt the same way, Luke would keep it to himself forever.

* * *

It was one of those days when nothing they could think of sounded like any fun and they'd all become desperate for some entertainment. Some of the outside heat had seeped in and the power station was hotter than usual. Everyone was bored and antsy. Being the most ingenuous of the bunch Biggs had had some ideas but they were all proving to be a bit too much for even the usual crowd.

"-What if I towed Deak's landspeeder with my 'hopper? I want to see what kind of speeds we could-"

"Are you crazy?" Camie even seemed upset at the idea. "Someone would get killed, I just know it."

"You know what?" Biggs was smirking by this point and Luke could see where his head was going. "I think I _am_ feeling a little crazy."

Luke was snickering and decided to interject when Camie looked about ready to pop a vein. "Don't ever tell him not to do something, Camie. He's just gonna do it to prove it can be done." Of course, he was grinning at Biggs' antics. Luke was usually known for being a supporter of his more insane ideas. Usually.

"That's probably true." Biggs and grinned proudly, fully admitting to his incorrigible nature.

This was doing little to quell Camie's worry. "Yeah, well then how do you get him to _not_ do something stupid?"

Luke put a hand to the side of his mouth and stage-whispered at her. "Reverse psychology!" He'd meant for Biggs to hear it, evidenced by the cheeky smirk and side-glance at his best friend.

"Wha-at?" Biggs looked mock-hurt. "Aw come on, Luke. I'm way too smart for that."

Immediately defeated by his friend's obvious confidence, Luke sighed and nodded, "... Yeahhh, I guess so. You know what? Now that I think about it you're way too cynical to fall for it." He considered Biggs quite seriously, shaking his head at him. It was a bit of an out-of-character move for Luke to be so suddenly judgmental.

Unfortunately for Biggs it played immediately and directly into his ego and got quite a roused reaction out of him. "Cynical? What are you talking about? I've never been cynical a day in my life!"

Luke laughed. "Biggs! Yes you are! You're always finding the worst in every situation!" He was still grinning but he was adamant in getting his opinion heard.

"What?! Luke-"

"No one would ever get you to fall for it because you're immediately suspicious of everyone. It's kind of annoying, actually."

"That's not true at all! I bet if someone knew me well enough they could find the right trigger to get me to-" It was about right at that moment that Biggs met Luke's gaze and finally saw the little smirk hiding there. Luke was ready to completely lose it and he even let loose a couple snorts. Realization swept over Biggs' face and he slowly closed his eyes. "... Ohhhh, you-"

Luke burst into raucous laughter and clapped once sharply, shooting a grin over at Camie. "See? What did I tell you? It works like a charm!" He threw his head back and laughed some more. Camie was standing by with a hand over her mouth, glancing between the two of them in amusement.

Biggs' mouth hung open slightly and he started shaking his head, blinking dazedly. "I can't believe you just did that." It was rare for him to find himself thoroughly thrown for a loop and he actually reddened somewhat, a little embarrassed that he let himself get so blindly defensive.

Camie had her eyebrows raised about as high as they would go and seemed a little impressed for once. "Wow, Biggs. Wormie's got you all figured out. You'd better be careful."

It was a little out of the ordinary how quickly Luke and Biggs had formed such a close friendship, but even Biggs was taken aback at his best friend's ability to see right into his mind like that, almost as if he could actually see his thoughts. He regarded Luke with some vaguely apprehensive but still admiring amusement. "... Yeah, he really does."

Luke could only grin at him mischievously in return. He remembered this day for a long time.

* * *

This time Fixer had gone too far. Why did he have to be that way? What was he trying to prove, being rotten to Luke like that? What did it get him besides a reputation for being a jackass?

_'You're so pathetic, Wormie. You can't do anything for yourself unless Biggs is around to hold your hand. Well unlike you I don't need a wet nurse. I can win on my own.'_

It made Luke so angry that he wanted to punch the wall. He almost punched Fixer's face a while ago but Biggs grabbed him by the shoulders and guided him out of Tosche Station. It was a good thing too because that would have likely ended with Luke being beaten to a bloody pulp. He was furious enough that adrenaline was pumping through him but Fixer was far beyond his weight class. It would have ended badly for him, no contest.

Now he and Biggs were standing in Uncle Owen's garage after parking Biggs' speeder. Luke stalked away and kicked a stack of empty oil canisters which toppled and skittered around him. A silence followed while Luke stood, clenching and unclenching his fists. His eyes were fixed tightly on the floor.

He could hear Biggs walking calmly over to him but he still didn't look up. "Luke? You know Fixer's wrong."

Luke spun around to face him. "But what if he isn't? No. I don't think he's wrong. You know why? Everything I've been able to do is because of you. In fact, I think he's the only one who's been speaking any kind of truth." It was all coming out of him in anger and it was all self-deprecating because that was how Luke felt. He felt worthless, utterly and completely.

This time Biggs' tone was hardened. "Are you saying I'm a liar?"

"Wh—no! But I—," Luke stammered as he tried to figure out a way to explain without inferring just that.

"Luke, listen to me." Biggs approached him, voice and expression softened, his hands gripping Luke's shoulders gently but firmly and facing him squarely. "Fixer's just a jealous ass. All those terrible things he says to you are meant specifically to bring you down, and that's it. Not a speck of it's true. The reason I helped you isn't because I didn't think you could do it on your own, but because I saw unused potential. All that talent was just sitting there, in a corner and collecting dust."

Luke hung his head. It was hard to see things from Biggs' perspective when he felt this lousy but Biggs continued. "It really ticked me off the way the others were always snubbing you. It got to you, you know? You internalized it so much you started to believe it yourself. All I had to do was _show_ you that you could. _That's all I did_. All those times you raced Beggar's Canyon, was I sitting there giving you instructions the whole way? No!" He scoffed exasperatedly. "I was off in my own 'hopper. You've always been doing it on your own. Even your first time flying, I couldn't believe my eyes."

Luke's gaze darted around the floor as he thought things through. Sometimes Biggs had such high praise for him that Luke thought there was no way he was being completely honest, as if he was only telling him those things to make him feel better, to pat him on the back. But Biggs sure had some good points. Luke was running out of ways to argue.

Then he felt warm hands gripping his arms, and saw Biggs move closer, tilting his head down so he could look him in the eyes. Suddenly the atmosphere shifted and Luke could feel heat in his cheeks as he latched onto Biggs' gentle, searching gaze.

"What can I do to make you see that?" Biggs asked.

For a long moment all Luke could do was stare. His heart began to pound in his chest and he could feel a minor panic rising inside him. Their faces were awfully close and if Biggs didn't take action soon, Luke just might. Whether that was to finally end the tension and attempt to kiss Biggs, or to chicken out and run away, he hadn't quite decided yet.

No, he couldn't kiss Biggs. That wasn't an option. He'd already thought this through. The rift it would create between them if Luke was wrong… that would be unbearable. He had to make sure of Biggs' feelings before he tried anything like that.

But Luke also couldn't run away. With Biggs so close, so caring, so tempting, he had to do _something_. It made him ache to even think about turning away.

The look on Luke's face must have done something to Biggs. His concerned and assuring expression was gradually turning into uncertainty and mild surprise. His mask of confidence appeared to fall away. There was a moment where something seemed to pass between them, something that made Luke's heart leap, and now Biggs' face seemed to be getting closer.

Luke realized it was because he was leaning in. He could do it, so easily…

_I can't_. At the last second his fear took over and he moved just to the side, sliding his arms around Biggs' neck and pulling him into a hug instead. Luke hid his face against Biggs' shoulder in embarrassment and in short time he felt Biggs' arms drawing tightly around his middle, squeezing him gently with one hand rubbing up and down his back.

* * *

Two or three years wore on Luke's hopes like a rough tide washing the sharp edges from the rocks it beat against. He spent less and less time thinking about what Biggs' lips might feel like on his own. It started to seem like more and more of a fantasy, some silly notion he'd once had that would never come to fruition.

Eventually Luke gave up.

They were still close, they still raced and spent much of their time together. At one point they decided that they would apply to the Imperial Academy and become real pilots. Then they would graduate, pool their money so they could buy a ship together, and then start a business. What their business would actually be they never really decided. The important part seemed to be that they would be partners, always at each other's side. That part was usually unspoken but somehow mutually understood.

At sixteen Luke lost his virginity to a friend from the other side of Anchorhead, someone none of his friends at Tosche Station knew. She was nice but the experience was… disappointing. They later parted ways and Luke never saw her again.

The others gave him congratulatory slaps on the back. Biggs gave a puzzlingly blunt, "good for you," and then was quiet for the rest of the discussion.

Sometime later Luke developed a crush on Camie. He was so convinced that she was perfect and that soon she'd realize what a jerk Fixer was and go for him instead. Since Biggs was a bit older, Luke was hoping that he would give him some tips or support but Biggs always seemed to be gently convincing him that the crush was a bad idea.

Indeed, months later Camie made it quite clear that she wasn't breaking things off with Fixer any time soon when they started discussing marriage. Luke was heartbroken and he threw himself into his studies for the Imperial Academy entrance exam.

After some time he was able to admit that the crush really had been stupid. Camie had always been a bit mean to him and, as Biggs always liked to point out, she would never like Luke that way because she was with Fixer… which meant she had terrible taste in men. That made Luke smile.

Then it was one heartbreak after another. Not only was Uncle Owen forbidding Luke from applying to the academy before he'd had a chance to hire more hands to help on the farm, but Biggs had been accepted. He was leaving in two months.


	4. Chapter 4

_Biggs is heading off to the academy and they wonder when they'll ever see each other again, but things change for Luke far sooner than he expected and his life is suddenly turned upside down._

* * *

A few nights before Biggs' sendoff party found him and Luke lying on their backs in the lookout loft, watching the stars. This was probably the last night they'd ever spend here.

"Biggs, why'd you grow that thing anyway?" Luke was staring at him through the darkness, his nearly-empty mug of ale clutched in one hand and balanced on his belly.

Recently Biggs had started sporting a neatly-trimmed mustache that made him look far older than his twenty-three years. Luke wasn't sure if he didn't like it because of that or because it just made Biggs look different.

"Because it looks good on me," he replied with easy confidence. Luke snorted. "And because I want to strike fear into the hearts of anyone I might encounter." He looked at Luke with a roguish grin.

"Yeah they'll sure be running from you 'cause it looks like something died on your face."

"Hey!"

They were both laughing but Biggs touched his mustache with some apprehension. It was rare for him to be unsure of himself. Luke seemed to be one of the few people who could get him to do that.

"You really think it looks that bad?"

"Nah," Luke answered. "You just look different, that's all."

"Good." The assuredness with which Biggs said that made Luke suddenly sad. Biggs was changing, maturing, leaving to start his life and do other things away from here, and he seemed pleased with it. And why shouldn't he be? Luke was happy for him but at the same time he didn't like it. They were supposed to go together. This wasn't right.

Luke rolled over to face Biggs and put his mug on the loft floor next to him, frowning softly. "It wouldn't be fair if I asked you to stay, would it?"

Biggs glanced at him and then to the opposite wall, quiet for several moments and visibly thinking through his response. "Give it time, Luke. Your uncle can't keep you here for much longer. Before you know it we'll both have our names out there as two of the best pilots in the Outer Rim, maybe even the galaxy. Then none of this'll matter."

Maybe Biggs was right. In two, maybe three years they'd both be graduated and then they could do all the things they always talked about. Then this short time of being apart would be forgotten, a minor inconvenience in the grand scheme of things.

A silent confirmation passed between them. They agreed but it wasn't a happy agreement.

Then Luke reached across to tug at Biggs' mustache but Biggs smacked his hand away. They were both laughing again.

* * *

Never, ever in a million years could Luke have anticipated the things that happened to him this past week. If he'd ever been afraid that nothing exciting would ever happen to him, those fears were now squashed and forgotten. In fact, Luke thought to himself, he could sure use a nap. Biggs had come home to visit after a year at the academy and from that point on everything was a whirlwind.

Now all of the sudden Luke was finding himself standing in the middle of the Rebellion's hidden base, a gargantuan, ancient temple on the fourth moon of Yavin. He'd met a smuggler, saved a princess, and started on the path to becoming a Jedi Knight. If only the guys back home could see him now!

Of course, with the good came the bad. He was trying not to dwell on the deaths of his aunt and uncle but the sight of their charred, smoldering corpses would haunt him forever. They were the only parents he'd ever known. He felt terrible that one of the last conversations he'd ever had with his uncle was a disagreement. When everything's said and done Luke wishes he'd told him, just once, how grateful he was, to him and Aunt Beru. While they both had their faults, and Owen and Luke often didn't see eye to eye on things, they were loving and selfless people. Luke couldn't have asked for more from them.

And then only days after beginning his Jedi training, the man known as Ben Kenobi who'd watched over Luke his whole life, and had been a friend and teacher to his father, also met his demise. Luke vowed he'd see to it that Darth Vader paid for his crimes someday. He wished he could have blasted Vader right then and there but he knew it wouldn't have been that easy. In fact, if he hadn't gotten off that Death Star when he did, he probably wouldn't have made it off at all.

The grief was beginning to well up inside him but Luke couldn't let it out yet. He'd been on the move almost constantly since leaving home and simply hadn't gotten the chance. There'd be time later to reflect and learn to let it all go. For now there was too much to do.

He was a member of the Rebellion now and his life had changed forever.

* * *

Luke had only managed a handful of hours in the training sims before the Death Star was detected coming into range. He'd volunteered himself as a pilot and had gotten assigned to Red Squadron. They were flying brand new T-65 X-wing starfighters which were top of the line, fresh off an Imperial shipyard and _procured _by a rebel team weeks ago. The cockpit and handling were stunningly similar to that of a T-16 skyhopper so it didn't take long for Luke to feel right at home at the controls.

He'd gotten immediate praise from his fellow pilots who were impressed by the skills of someone so young and whose experience was rather limited. It felt amazing to be appreciated and accepted so easily, but the looming battle was wracking his nerves. It was exhilarating but terrifying.

After the briefing Luke got changed into his flight suit and was meandering through the hangar bay towards his fighter. He could see Artoo-Detoo already being loaded into the astromech port. Some new pilots were flooding into the hangar, presumably from another shift because Luke hadn't seen them until now.

He ducked under the wing of his fighter, running a hand along its underside, when he heard a familiar voice calling his name.

"Hey, Luke!"

Luke spun around towards the voice without even thinking. It made his heart leap with instant recognition. It couldn't be.

It was! Biggs' smiling face greeted him as he came jogging over, an arm held out wide. Luke couldn't believe his eyes. He grinned harder than he thought possible.

"Biggs!"

"I don't believe it!" Biggs was grinning just as hard and he clapped Luke on the back. Luke wrapped an arm around his shoulder in turn. He'd known that Biggs was planning on abandoning his assigned position on an Imperial frigate and joining the Rebellion but he never could have anticipated running into him by chance like this.

They bantered and caught up and all the while Luke watched his face, feeling as if it were a dream. Biggs always promised that one day they'd meet up again but Luke couldn't believe it was already happening. It seemed like only yesterday he was just barely refraining from begging Biggs not to leave. Now here they were, about to fly together for the Rebel Alliance, just like they'd always planned.

Then it was time to board and Luke and Biggs promised they would tell each other all of their stories when they returned.

"Hey Biggs! I told you I'd make it someday."

"It'll be like old times, Luke. They'll never stop us."

* * *

Han Solo didn't watch the pilots as they climbed into their fighters. He busied himself with loading his hard-earned credits into the cargo hold of the _Millennium Falcon_ while trying to ignore the sideways glances Chewbacca was giving him. They didn't need him and he didn't need them. It was some good business, that's all. He got his money and they got their princess back and that was it. Now it was time to leave.

After the gigantic hangar had long since been emptied of its X-wing and Y-wing fighters, Han finally took the Falcon into the sky. They would be alright, he told himself. They had some skilled pilots on their side, and that kid sure knew how to pull it together when he needed to.

Chewbacca made a low rumble next to him.

Han was snapped from his thoughts and without thinking he said, "They'll be fine."

Chewie looked amused. He gave a questioning growl in response.

"No, you're right, I _don't_ care. I was just letting you know that."

The Wookiee seemed even more amused but he only replied with a dismissive 'wumf'. Han sat for a while longer, letting his ship hover in orbit of the moon. He was waiting for the calculations for the jump to lightspeed, he convinced himself. No rush.

But even minutes after the computer had made the calculations and the _Falcon_ was ready and waiting, Han was still sitting in silent contemplation.

"You know, maybe I'd better turn on the local comm, just to check on things. Can't hurt." Han reached over and flipped on the communicator, setting it to the Rebel base's coded frequency. Soon the chatter of pilots could be heard over the _Falcon_'s comm system.

It sounded like an attack run was well on its way. They were fine. They would be just fine.

Wouldn't they?

Then he heard a transmission that made him frown. "Negative, negative. It didn't go in. Just impacted on the surface." That's alright, he told himself. They'd try again.

Suddenly there were shouts and explosions heard over the channel and Han sat up in his seat. Chewbacca moaned a comment about the pilots in a worried tone, the ones who evidently just lost their lives. That was the second attack group. Now Luke would start his run.

Han exchanged a glance with Chewie.

"Maybe we—" Han stopped himself. _No_. No way was he getting involved. At least, not yet. He'd gotten his money, he was home free. There was no reason to go getting himself killed now. They could still do this on their own. He'd wait until it sounded like they were really in trouble before he even thought about going in there.

He heard Luke's voice over the comm. "We're going in and we're going in full throttle! That ought to keep those fighters off our backs." It stung just a bit and it reminded him of the last thing Luke had said to him back at the base. _'Take care of yourself, Han. I guess that's what you're best at.'_

It wasn't true. Han had helped others plenty of times.

Except so many of these pilots had already died. He hadn't helped them. They were gone for good, and Luke and his two wingmen were the only ones left. If Han had gone in there sooner, maybe—

_That's it_. Han gripped the _Falcon_'s controls and manipulated the thrusters. Chewbacca growled a question out of surprise. "We're goin' in, Chewie. Hold on tight."

No one else would die if Han had anything to say about it.

* * *

"Fighters coming in, point-three!" Wedge Antilles' voice shouted over the comm. Luke saw them, a TIE Advanced and two TIE Fighters flanking it. They were the only enemy fighters left and if they could just outrun them they'd be set.

Moments after that hopeful thought crossed Luke's mind there was laser fire from behind them. It impacted with Wedge's fighter but to Luke's great relief, didn't destroy it. Wedge was limping along at this point, though, and if he stayed any longer he'd likely end up getting hit again or sideline Biggs' ship and kill them both.

"I'm hit! I can't stay with you."

"Get clear, Wedge. You can't do anymore good back there!" Luke ordered.

"Sorry!" Wedge pulled his fighter up and out of the trench. It was just Luke and Biggs now. Those three TIEs were still back there and slowly gaining. If they couldn't figure out a way to get rid of them soon this would be over long before they could reach the exhaust port.

"Hurry, Luke!" Biggs warned over the comm. "They're coming in much faster this time. We can't hold them."

Luke fought to keep his fighter steady while pushing its speed to the limit. "Artoo, try and increase the power!" The little droid bleeped a confirmation and went straight to work.

The TIEs behind them weren't gaining anymore but they were still close enough that Luke and Biggs had to continuously weave to avoid being fired at. Luke wracked his brain, trying to think of a way to lose them.

"Hurry up, Luke!"

Luke wanted to tell Biggs in frustration that he was going as fast as he could. That port wouldn't show up any faster with Biggs nagging him.

"Wait—" There was suddenly panic in Biggs' voice. Luke felt dread flooding him. What was happening? He glanced out of his rear viewport and saw it. The TIE Advanced had locked onto Biggs' fighter.

_No!_ Luke struggled to control his ship but fear had taken over. One more terror-stricken "wait!" came from Biggs over the channel before laser fire flashed behind him and there was an explosion.


	5. Chapter 5

_The Battle of Yavin leaves Luke in charge of the Alliance's elite starfighter squadron, though he soon finds himself the subject of many good-natured taunts and jokes. Apparently the Rogue Squadron pilots have some interesting pastimes._

* * *

Luke's stomach dropped and despair washed over him. He wanted to cry out to Biggs but he was afraid that if he let his emotions overcome him too much that he'd lose control of his fighter. The TIEs had caught up and fired on Biggs. There was nothing he could do now except keep flying and hope that he could dodge long enough to reach that thermal exhaust port.

Then—he heard a voice on the comm.

"What was that?!" It was Biggs' voice! Despite the confusion and desperation of the situation Luke couldn't help but grin out of relief.

He was still alive? What the heck just happened? Luke glanced behind him to see that Biggs' fighter was still there, flying behind him as he had been the whole time. However, one of the TIE Advanced's wingmen had just been taken out. Who did that? There were no other fighters around except Wedge but he was out of commission. Luke tried to keep his flight path straight while he searched around him, frantically trying to figure out what was going on.

Then _another_ voice came over the channel in joyful decibels that made the audio clip a little. "Yea-hoo!"

Han!

Luke had never been so happy to hear that smuggler and he let out a laugh of surprise. From behind there was another explosion as the other TIE was knocked into the wall of the trench and the Advanced shot off out of control into space.

"You're all clear, kid! Now let's blow this thing and go home!"

"You got this, Luke!" Biggs was smiling; Luke could hear it in his voice.

Unimpeded, they finished their race along the trench and, stretching out with the Force, Luke made the kill shot. Both proton torpedoes flew straight down the exhaust port and everyone pulled up hard, pushing their ships as fast as they could to escape the massive explosion they knew was coming.

Moments later it came, and the Death Star went out in an enormous flash of light, fire, and debris.

* * *

The cheers that greeted Luke when he emerged from the cockpit were deafening. Everyone seemed to be rushing toward him all at once but the first familiar face he saw in the crowd was Leia's. He practically leapt off of the ladder and she launched herself at him into a hug. Soon after Han joined them and they laughed and bantered, the rush of their victory brimming and overflowing them with joy.

But there was another face Luke kept watching for in the crowd. Then he saw him, a figure sprinting across the hangar in his orange flight suit, dark hair flying and a grin so wide plastered across his face.

The crowd parted for Biggs and hands slapped him on the back as he passed, but he ran straight for Luke. They threw themselves at each other, laughing and holding on tightly as they spun each other around in a teetering circle.

"Hey, kid! That was some flying!" Biggs gripped the sides of Luke's face and he couldn't look happier in that moment.

"You'd never see anything like that in Beggar's Canyon, huh?"

"Oh, you've turned that run into child's play, Luke. This is the big leagues now."

"Come on," Luke hooked his arm around Biggs' neck. "I think we need to go celebrate."

* * *

From atop the dais at the front of the grand ceremonial chamber, Luke grinned broadly at the officers, pilots, soldiers, and other formal uniform-adorned personnel who had gathered for the award ceremony. They applauded and some of them even cheered. Luke was fairly certain most of that raucous cheering was coming from the rows of pilots. Han Solo stood next to him, both of them newly bestowed with the Medal of Bravery, the highest honor given by the Alliance. Behind them was Princess Leia, beaming serenely.

Luke searched the faces before him and near the front he found his squadron. Among them was Biggs whom he locked eyes with immediately. Biggs winked at him and clapped even harder, possibly looking the most enthusiastic of anyone in the room.

Being here, destroying the Death Star, receiving his medal, those things felt surreal to Luke, but nothing brought him more joy than the pride he could see plain as day on Biggs' face.

* * *

Shortly after Yavin, Luke was given command of the new Rogue Squadron, created from the few pilots still remaining from Red Squadron and a handful of new recruits. Biggs was made his executive officer which he was initially uncomfortable with, positive that Biggs would make a much better leader than he would. Biggs wouldn't hear any of it, assuring him that not only would Luke be great, but that he would offer as much help as he could while Luke was learning the ropes.

Of course, Luke was a very fast learner so he was giving orders and receiving "yes, sir"s in no time. Even Biggs was caught off guard by Luke's newly confident demeanor and commanding tone from time to time.

It was no secret that the Rebellion's X-wing pilots were a close-knit group. They had to be if they were to fly with the legendary teamwork they were famous for.

But there was even more going on behind the scenes that not many outside the group were aware of. Most of the maintenance crew was wise and anyone else who had a reason to spend a significant time around the pilots eventually caught on.

There was the gambling, sure. Boredom was easy to come across in between missions and some casual betting here and there kept morale up. Not high, just up. It was usually stupid things like how long it would take for Hobbie to lose another limb, or whose ass General Rieekan would be pulling into his office next.

None of it was serious, usually no more than fifty credits at a time, or whatever liquor anyone had on them. Once they were stationed at Hoth, hot water chits became an especially hot commodity. Without them, showers were rather cold and unpleasant as the base had to use most of its power for more important things like the shield generator and all of its computer systems.

The pilots also had another, rather particular pool of betting that they took pleasure in. It was somewhat of a tradition among them that new recruits would wind up sleeping with someone else on the base sooner or later, usually sooner. 'Huddling for warmth', they often called it. Sex became an easy and fun way to stave off the Hoth chill. They particularly enjoyed putting down bets on who would be the first to snag the hottest new jockeys.

The bets on Luke Skywalker, the blue-eyed, baby-faced Hero of Yavin, were possibly the highest the squadron had seen in a while.

Of course, the odds were a bit skewed when it came to him. A vast majority of the pilots had clued in pretty quickly on the way Luke and Biggs were with each other. They were childhood friends, sure, but many took their closeness for something else and put down quite a lot of money on Biggs Darklighter.

Then there were the pilots who had taken a personal liking to Rogue Leader and were hoping to get to him before anyone else could. They put down money on themselves, insisting that they could put on charms that Luke couldn't possibly resist.

The problem was quickly realized. Luke was a great leader and possibly the best pilot the Alliance had ever seen, but he was positively clueless when it came to romance. Any time he was approached or hit on he seemed to take it as friendly banter or a joke and would simply laugh it off. Sometimes he was just plain confused and would stare blankly before excusing himself and claiming he had work to get done.

The repeated failures of the other pilots and the growing affection between their commanding and executive officers gradually turned bets about sex into gossip of very real feelings. The hints that they had secret crushes on each other became rumors which became running jokes that the pilots played into at every opportunity.

The first time it happened nearly turned disastrous as far as Luke was concerned.

He had convinced himself that all that was long over. He'd once fallen head over heels for his best friend but he decided that Biggs would never feel the same for him. That was something he recovered from a long time ago and he wasn't going to let those feelings resurface. He and Biggs had to work very closely with each other in a professional setting and tensions would run high if anything came between them, good or bad.

One day in the mess hall, however, the other pilots began to exchange knowing glances while Luke and Biggs sat off to one side, caught up in a teasing conversation. When he wasn't in his flight gear, Biggs still insisted upon wearing that cape of his even though it was against uniform code and Luke liked to give him a hard time about it.

"You know, I could just order you to take it off. If I were a responsible commander I'd do just that."

"Oh come on, Luke, you've been saying that for months."

"I could do it, though."

"You won't."

"Want to bet?"

"I thought you hated gambling."

"Not when I know I'm going to win."

Biggs laughed and Luke snaked a hand across, acting like he was trying to undo the cape's fasteners, but Biggs caught his wrist. They both laughed and tussled for a moment before Wedge approached them, leaning down as if to whisper something to them discreetly. He whispered loudly on purpose.

"You know, you two should probably get a room. Your flirting is starting to make the deck officers uncomfortable."

It was a loud enough 'whisper' that half the mess hall heard him and his dry tone made it all the more noticeable. The pilots nearby snorted with laughter and the deck officers two tables away raised their eyebrows. It was enough to turn Luke's face instantly red and he could feel heat all the way up to his ears. He immediately took his hand back and ducked his head in embarrassment.

Biggs seemed to take his reaction for disgust and got right to work diffusing the situation, as he often did. He smirked and rolled his eyes at Wedge. "You've got a shift in five minutes, don't you, Antilles?"

Wedge appeared unperturbed by the quick dismissal, but instead he looked almost disappointed in them. He stood up straight again and glanced between the two. "Yes, sir, I do." Before he walked away he gave Biggs one last look with arched eyebrows.

Biggs knew what that look meant. _'You think we don't see right through you? Who are you trying to fool?'_ Wedge was good at looks like that. His specialty seemed to be saying quite a lot with as few words as possible. But when Biggs brought his attention back to Luke and found him absently playing with his food, he knew that Wedge would just have to be content to let it go.

He gave Luke a gentle elbow-nudge. "Don't let it get to you."

Luke shook his head and shrugged without looking up. "I'm not. It was just a joke."

Soon, though, he picked up his tray and excused himself. Sometimes Biggs thought Luke took things a little too hard but even he wasn't sure what to make of that.

* * *

Eventually Luke grew accustomed to the taunts, more or less, and even learned to laugh at them occasionally. He and Biggs would rolls their eyes and tell the jokesters to get lost. Of course, the fact that their fellow pilots' jokes were meant more as accusations was usually lost on them and they eventually lost their potency.

"Hey, Luke, I heard you were going to order Biggs to take off his cape," Wes Janson said one day with a shit-eating smirk. "You could just speed things up and tell him to take off _all_ of his clothes."

The topic of the commanding officer and the executive officer of Rogue Squadron being secret lovers became such a joke that to Luke it started sounding more and more ridiculous. He was able to laugh it off more easily every time, and the Rogues' efforts were starting to backfire on them.

Biggs would grin but he was less likely to laugh than the others. He saw the humor but eventually seemed to take the jokes a little less casually. Luke noticed that it made him strangely distant sometimes. Perhaps he didn't like the idea. It only made Luke more and more sure that he'd made the right decision to let his feelings go.


	6. Chapter 6

_Things begin to get complicated between Luke and Biggs, and Luke fears that it may end up ruining their friendship. He keeps himself distracted by spending time with Leia, making Biggs assume things that may not be true._

* * *

This was the third time Leia had kissed Luke on the cheek this week. He smiled softly as he watched her walk away. She was often too busy to spend much time with him but her continued shows of affection made it quite obvious how she felt about him. Luke felt the same way but he was taking his time. Things could get complicated if he brought up something now.

That's what he told himself, anyway.

In reality there was nothing stopping him. So long as it didn't interfere with their work, there were lots of people on the base who were involved in romantic relationships. Much of Rogue Squadron even seemed to make it into a challenge.

Leia was beautiful; she smiled at Luke a lot and spoke gently to him. It felt good to have someone like that so close, just like Biggs had been since they were teens.

When he started comparing Biggs to Leia, that's when Luke got worried.

Leia was comfortable. She and Luke didn't know each other that well but he knew where she stood and he had a steady crush on her.

Biggs was different. They knew each other inside and out. Even years ago Luke knew he'd never been closer to anyone in his life than he was to Biggs, and that still hadn't changed… but Biggs brought about uncomfortable feelings. They made Luke afraid and they made him think long, complicated thoughts. He and Biggs were deeply connected and if anything were to happen that damaged that connection, Luke would never forgive himself. And lately, whenever they were teased by the other pilots, sometimes Biggs seemed to take a step back, distanced himself. That made Luke's fears even stronger.

Leia was comfortable.

* * *

It was late and Luke and Biggs had been going over the paperwork for new squadron transfers for hours. They were sitting in Biggs' quarters on his bunk with a datapad and trying not to shiver. Keeping warm at night was often a challenge because the Alliance couldn't afford to keep climate control running in the entire residential block for hours on end. The two of them especially weren't used to the weather, having been raised in the desert.

Tatooine could get chilly at night but nothing anywhere close to Hoth's cold storms. It was a chill that crept all the way to the bone and even after warming up with a hot shower or exercise you would feel it for hours.

It was especially bad tonight. A blizzard was sweeping through the area and even after the shield doors to the base had been sealed, the cold seemed to seep through the meters of solid ice. _Isn't it supposed to be insulating? _Luke thought as he hugged himself tightly and shivered. Biggs saw that and set down the datapad. His hands were so frozen he could hardly keep hold of it anyway.

"Still not use to it, huh?" He grabbed Luke's sleeves and pulled him in, bringing his arms around him and rubbing up and down his back in an attempt to create warmth.

Luke shivered against him and shook his head, tucking his chin over Biggs' shoulder. "I don't think anyone could get used to this."

Biggs grinned as he tried to keep his own teeth from chattering. "You might be right."

"I'm definitely not looking forward to making the run back to my bunk." If their rooms were cold, the open hallways were even worse. Anyone who had to go moving around at night for any reason was often found sprinting.

"Then just stay here."

Luke was a bit surprised by that offer, but he couldn't immediately see any reason to turn it down. Even more, he didn't _want_ to. "… Sure. Alright."

They'd always been physically comfortable with each other and had spent many nights in close quarters. It wouldn't be totally out of the ordinary. Still, there was something just a bit more intimate about the idea of sharing a small bed for body warmth. It caught Luke a bit off-guard and he was glad Biggs couldn't see his face.

It's okay, he told himself. It's Biggs. Anyone else and he might have worried about mixed messages but they trusted each other. Biggs was his best friend.

They soon settled down under the blankets on the tiny bed, their sides pressed against each other. It was definitely warmer than sleeping apart and Luke was realizing that this was actually a pretty nice way to get some rest. He often found himself waking in the middle of the night, shivering so hard that he couldn't possibly get back to sleep again until he figured out a way to get warmer.

Just before they started to drift off, Luke thought of something. "You know, if someone spots me leaving your room in the morning…"

He could hear the amusement in Biggs' voice. "It's a bit too late to be worrying about things like that. I don't think the gossip can get any worse than it already is."

Luke smirked. "Good point."

He didn't remember falling asleep but hours later he was woken up by some movement. Luke had rolled over onto his side and he became gradually aware of a humid warmth on the back of his neck. Biggs was now on his side too and curled against Luke's back, his nose nuzzled into Luke's shoulder.

There was no immediate reason to move, he decided. This was warm, comforting… it was nice. Luke fell back to sleep.

Biggs awoke first when morning came and he was already climbing out of bed by the time Luke opened his eyes. He grabbed a change of clothes and stopped by the door, giving Luke a small, apologetic smirk, aware of the snickers and raised eyebrows he'd likely get when he left. "I'll see you at breakfast."

Luke smiled back sheepishly and rubbed his eyes. Indeed, when he finally sneaked out of the room, the few other people in the hallway watched him curiously as he headed for his own quarters. Fortunately, none of them were Rogue Squadron. If he kept up this habit, though, it was only a matter of time.

* * *

Biggs was happy if Luke was happy. It was easy to see why he liked Leia so much. She was a princess, after all, and a beautiful one. She was also confident, brave, smart, caring, and had enormous conviction for her beliefs… if a little feisty at times. Those were all traits that Luke was attracted to, Biggs knew that, and they seemed perfect for each other. So Biggs was happy for him.

And when Luke sat close to him, leaning on him affectionately and giving him one of his giddy smiles, the ones that were rare these days because it meant Luke was truly happy, joyful, not a care at all… he knew not to assume things. When Luke crawled into his bunk in the middle of the night, curling up next to him to keep warm… he knew that's all it was.

When Luke scooted in close to him, telling him some silly secret, or a joke only he would get, and then got caught up staring at Biggs' mouth as he joked in return… it wasn't what it looked like.

Leia was a great girl and he was happy for Luke. She wasn't quite Biggs' type though.

He preferred blonds.

* * *

"Hey, kid. You seen Leia anywhere?"

Luke looked up at Han from the report he'd been reading on his bunk and shook his head. "No, not lately."

"Got any idea where she'd be?"

"I—no. Sorry." Now that Luke was thinking about it, he hadn't seen much of Leia all week.

Han frowned and leaned against the doorframe. "You feelin' alright, kid?"

Luke knit his brows in confusion. "Sure, I feel fine. Why?"

There was a distinct pause while Han seemed to look him over, if discreetly, as if trying to figure something out. "Nothin'. Just surprised you're not following her around with your tongue wagging, that's all."

Luke was about to think of a defensive retort but Han had already turned and continued on his way down the hall. To be honest, Luke had no idea what he would have said in response. Other than lamely denying that he did such a thing, there really wasn't much _to_ say.

Maybe it was a little strange that he hadn't seen Leia much lately. Perhaps they'd just been busy. Then again, he hadn't even realized until now that they didn't spend any time together this week at all. What _had_ he been doing all week?

While Luke was still staring blankly at the datapad in his hands, deep in thought, Biggs invited himself into Luke's quarters as he often did and made himself comfortable next to him on the bed. "Hey, Luke. You finish reading that report yet? Rieekan told me to skim it too but I figured I'd just ask you about it."

Oh right. That's what Luke had been doing all week. He and Biggs instructed some new transfers through training, then there was that special assignment he and Biggs both volunteered for to keep each other company, and there had been at least two or three off-duty evenings spent together, drinking or playing games.

Biggs patted his knee. "You awake?"

Luke started slightly and gave him an embarrassed smile. "Yeah. Sorry. I was—daydreaming, I guess. Uhh…" He looked from the datapad up to Biggs, who slowly smiled back. Luke couldn't remember what Biggs had asked him.

Finally Biggs chuckled. "Alright, alright, forget it. We can go over it tomorrow. You look like you could use some sleep."

After a reluctant sigh, Luke nodded in agreement. He set the datapad down on his bedside table and stretched his arms over his head. "It's the early mornings. My patrols were all moved around this week and I've had a hard time adjusting my sleep schedule."

Biggs crawled over and took one side of the bed, settling himself down on his stomach. "You and me both." It didn't look like he was planning on going anywhere. In fact, he was making himself quite comfortable. It wasn't even as cold tonight as it had been during that blizzard, but Luke was finding himself drawn into the space next to Biggs, as cramped as it was on the tiny bed.

"Hey, scoot over," he said half-jokingly with a grin as he pushed against Biggs' side.

Instead of moving, Biggs grabbed him around the middle with one arm and pulled him down into the warm, cozy space next to him. "Shhh, plenty of room for you. Now get some sleep."

Luke held back a laugh as he was hugged on like a stuffed animal and he briefly lifted his head from the pillow in an attempt to catch Biggs' expression. He glimpsed the tiniest smirk but Biggs' eyes were already closed. It seemed like they were both a bit over-worked and under-rested. Deciding that he was comfortable, Luke lifted up his feet one at a time and pulled off his boots, then sleepily tugged as much of the blanket over himself and Biggs as he could manage before drifting off.

* * *

There was no doubt about it. Things were different now. Biggs had made himself especially busy today and Luke was getting nervous just at the thought of running into him. When he'd woken up this morning Biggs was already gone and Luke had some vague memories of waking up several times during the night with Biggs' arm wrapped tighter around him and his face tucked into Luke's neck. It almost seemed like they'd been dreams but now he was beginning to doubt that.

Luke was almost in a panic. He didn't want things to be different. What if it meant his and Biggs' friendship was ruined forever? But at the same time, it seemed as if he had discovered something new and exciting. The very idea made him feel slightly sick to his stomach and he worked hard to distract himself throughout the day.

"Woah, cool it!" Wes Janson said to him as Luke dropped the spanner for something like the fifth time. "Working too hard lately?" He reached down to pick it up for Luke. "Or you and Biggs have a lovers' spat?" He handed it back with the hugest grin on his face.

Luke didn't look amused and his face turned a bit red as he took back the spanner with a muttered 'thanks'.

"Hey, I was joking. You know, I do that?" Now Wes was frowning.

Usually Luke took the jokes and ribbing without so much as an eye-roll these days but something was definitely eating at him. "Yeah… I know." He worked at the bolt he was trying to reach in the tight space of the snubfighter's maintenance hatch but his hand was shaking too much. Finally he sighed in exasperation and dropped the spanner on the work cart next to him.

"Wow," Wes said with his eyebrows raised. "I have no idea what's going on but I'm going to encourage heavy drinking and camaraderie with other assholes who are probably going to poke fun at you too, but you'll be too drunk to care by that point."

This time Luke was smiling. He glanced at Wes and slowly shook his head at him. "Sounds like fun." He wasn't originally going to spend his break today with the other pilots and he still wasn't planning on drinking much since he had a patrol shift this afternoon, but now a little distraction was sounding like a good idea.

"Glad you agree." Wes clapped him on the back. "I wasn't looking forward to having to club you over the head and drag you there by your feet, but I was willing to do it anyway. I'm just that good a friend."

Luke grinned at him. "You're a shining beacon of everything the Rebellion stands for, Wes."


	7. Chapter 7

_Just as their feelings have started to come out in the open, Luke and Biggs run into major trouble, and then it's one interruption after another. Things get put on hold while Luke fights for his life._

* * *

The 'lounge' that Rogue Squadron often used during breaks was less that and more of an abandoned, forgotten storage room with old, frost-coated crates for chairs. At least it remained undisturbed and they could keep their stash of booze in here without fear of—actually, no one was enough of a jerk to steal someone else's stuff, they just didn't want to get judged for how absurdly huge their liquor collection was.

This was a Rogues-only space and they wanted it to stay that way.

By the time Luke and Wes arrived, the whiskey had already been broken into and they were welcomed with offered drinks. Luke accepted his with a grin and as he searched for a seat in the suddenly crowded room, he turned around and spotted Biggs already seated across from him. Upon meeting his gaze, Biggs grinned back and patted the cramped crate next to him.

"Hey, Luke! Get over here."

Luke felt a surge of nerves in his stomach as he obliged, but he told himself there was nothing to worry about. Biggs seemed rather pleased to see him, and he was certainly pleased to see Biggs. There was still the unspoken change between them that had yet to be discussed, but neither he nor Biggs seemed too eager to start a conversation over it, or even openly acknowledge it for the moment. While things were friendly and casual there didn't seem to be a need.

"I don't think I've seen you all day." Biggs' voice was lowered, obviously content to keep the exchange intimate for the moment. The other pilots were still pouring each other drinks in whatever different sized cups they'd collected from the mess hall.

"Those new snow speeders have been keeping me busy," Luke replied with as casual a tone as he could manage, confident that it was a good excuse. It's true they'd been having problems with them.

"I've heard. I'll take a look at the codes this afternoon. We might need to get someone from systems analysis in on it, though."

Luke nodded in agreement. Then he gave Biggs a look with a raised eyebrow.

Biggs smirked back. "I know, I know, we're supposed to be on break." He took a big gulp of whiskey from his cup and sighed as it burned down his throat. "There. I can multi-task."

Luke laughed and shook his head. "Drinking while discussing work, Biggs? That's either irresponsible or efficient and I'm not sure which."

Soon Luke forgot his nerves and he and his best friend were caught up in their usual bantering and inside jokes, oblivious to the occasional looks they were receiving from the other pilots.

"You worry way too much," Biggs said with a grin as he nudged Luke with his elbow. They were once again on the topic of the snow speeders but they'd had enough to drink that they were thoroughly relaxed and teasing each other more than actually having a serious discussion.

"You know, your over-confidence used to get you into trouble," Luke said with a knowing smirk. "I've seen it happen." Though he ultimately trusted Biggs' judgment, he just got the feeling that it was going to end badly for him someday.

It was an innocent enough conversation but Wes Janson couldn't help but stir things up. He called from across the room. "Hey, if you two want to get all smoochy you just say the word and we'll leave you alone."

The others laughed and jeered and Luke's cheeks immediately went red as he hid his face in one hand. Biggs rolled his eyes at them but he soon turned his attention back to Luke, looking a bit amused. The other pilots had gone back to their own conversations by now and Luke was aware that he had reacted far more strongly than he normally did.

"Look at you. You know, if I didn't know any better—" Biggs stopped himself rather abruptly.

Luke finally lifted his head, raising his gaze to give Biggs a curious look. "What?" Something about Biggs' expression made his heart start thudding. He thought he had a pretty good guess at what Biggs was about to say, and part of Luke wanted to get him to say it. The other part of him was terrified and he was quite certain that if he tried to speak another word his voice would tremble.

Perhaps he'd spoken too quickly, too eagerly. Biggs watched his face, considered him for a long moment. Luke simply watched him right back, hoping he didn't look as mind-numbingly nervous as he felt.

Then there was a quick flicker of Biggs' eyes, downward, lids lowering and his lips parted. Luke's breath left him and he found himself staring at Biggs' mouth, without any memory of ever telling himself to do so. He started it first, leaning in an inch or two at a time. Maybe Biggs picked up on it because he began leaning in, too. Luke remembered feeling warm breath on his face and just barely closing his eyes before a loud eruption of laughter around them made him nearly fall right off of his crate in alarm.

He sat up and looked around, his heart pounding so loudly he thought it might be echoing off the ice walls around them, but none of the other pilots were even looking at them. They were laughing at something else and seemed totally oblivious to what almost happened right next to them. False alarm.

Now when he locked eyes with Biggs again he knew his face was entirely flushed and it wasn't the alcohol. Inexplicably, Biggs looked just as rattled but he tried to smile, even if he appeared a bit embarrassed.

Trying to look anywhere else while he gathered himself, Luke caught sight of the chrono someone had hammered into the ice on the wall and he realized with dread what time it was. He barely noticed that Biggs was about to say something before he stood up.

"_Oh no_, I was supposed to be getting ready for my patrol ten minutes ago!" He'd gotten distracted by the—well, it had really wound up being flirting. And then it almost became… Luke felt a rush at that thought, and then disappointment at the realization that it would have to wait until later. If he didn't hurry now he'd be late to meet Han by the check-out to start their perimeter patrol. Luke hurried to the door, handing off his drink to someone else who looked rather pleased to have more alcohol, but he paused and turned around.

Biggs was staring after him hopefully and they gazed at each other in silence for a moment before Biggs finally brought some semblance of closure to the exchange that just happened. "I'll see you after your shift," he said with a small smile. It was a promise, a way to bring things to some sort of understanding. They'd continue what they started later.

Luke smiled back at him shyly and nodded. "You got it."

* * *

It was supposed to be an easy patrol. Just set a few sensors, take some readings, and then head back. He just _had_ to spot that meteorite. Now things seemed impossibly bleak as Luke trudged through the snow, the right side of his face stinging painfully, his head pounding, dried blood down the front of his snow suit, and every extremity frozen numb. He could hardly lift his legs high enough to take each step and every minute he felt his body getting stiffer and colder and more tired.

Luke was fairly certain he was heading in the right direction but he had no idea how far away he was from the base. It could be a five minute walk or an hour, and there was little chance he'd last that long. The wampa had dragged him some distance, he knew that, but all he could do was guess at it. And the colder he got, the fuzzier his thoughts became.

If he fell over now and let himself fall asleep like he so desperately wanted to, he'd likely never wake up, and he'd be found tomorrow, a frozen corpse half-buried in the snow.

All he could think about was Biggs. He loved him. He was _in love_ with him, and now he was fairly certain that Biggs felt similarly. What timing this was. How sad and ironic that he'd spent the past eight years pining desperately after Biggs, only to finally make something happen and wind up dead only hours later.

He was angry with himself. How could he do this to Biggs? It hurt to imagine Biggs' reaction when he heard of Luke's death. It gave Luke a new determination and, even though he couldn't feel his legs anymore, even though he couldn't even tell they were still moving except by looking down, he pushed himself onward.

* * *

This was just Han's luck. Stuck here on this ice cube for the past year and a half, and now that he was finally trying to get out of here there were more complications. If Chewbacca didn't get this mess cleaned up soon—

"Excuse me, sir!" Great. Here came Threepio, likely bringing another problem to slow him down.

"Put them back together, right now!" He told Chewbacca impatiently while the Wookiee crouched under the _Falcon_'s forward strut maintenance hatch.

"Might I have a word with you, please?" Threepio's arms flailed in a particularly panicky manner. Han grudgingly decided he had better find out what was going on.

"What do you want?"

"Well, it's Princess Leia, sir. She's been trying to get you on the communicator."

Han spoke over him before he could finish his sentence. "I turned it off. I don't want to talk to her." He really didn't, either. Leia had been particularly getting on his nerves lately.

Threepio was hardly discouraged. "Oh. Well, Princess Leia is wondering about Master Luke. He hasn't come back yet. She doesn't know where he is."

"I don't know where he is." Han didn't know what Leia wanted him to do about that. It wasn't his job to keep tabs on that kid day in and day out. In fact, he thought that _was_ Leia's job.

"Nobody knows where he is."

That didn't sound good. "… What do you mean 'nobody knows'?"

"Well, uh, you see—"

"Deck officer!" Han shouted to one of the young officers standing nearby who didn't look like he was doing anything at the moment. If nobody knew where Luke was then that meant he still wasn't back yet. It couldn't have taken him that long to get a couple readings on a meteorite. "Deck officer!"

Threepio couldn't leave it alone. "Excuse me, sir. Might I inq—" Han's hand went over his vocal speaker.

"Yes, sir?"

"Do you know where Commander Skywalker is?"

"He hasn't come back from his patrol yet, sir. We're working on it right now."

"You're _working on it_?" It didn't look to Han like anyone was working particularly hard on anything at the moment.

"Yes, sir. Lieutenant Commander Darklighter already went out looking for him."

"… Oh."

* * *

Biggs tried to remain focused. All of the horrific thoughts and possibilities about what could have happened to Luke were threatening to overwhelm him but he forced himself to remain calm. He'd be no use to Luke if he didn't keep his mind on the task at hand.

The blizzard wind was blowing colder and his tauntaun was having more and more difficulty keeping its pace through the deep snow. The sensor had started picking up what could be life readings several minutes ago and they were getting stronger the closer Biggs got, but they could be anything.

One thing at a time, he told himself. Just find out what's giving off these readings and if it's not Luke, he'll keep searching.

* * *

There was a dark shadow half-buried in the snowdrift up ahead, vaguely human-sized. Biggs slid off his tauntaun and pushed through the deep snow as quickly as he could, heart pounding, terrified at what he might find. As he got closer it became evident that it was definitely a person in Echo Base snow gear, splayed out on their stomach and covered in at least a half-hour's worth of loose snow. It had to be Luke.

"Luke!" His voice barely cut through the howling winds. "Luke!"

Biggs reached him and fell on his knees next to him, which barely lowered him but a few inches in the deep snowdrift. There was no indication that Luke heard him or was even alive. Biggs grabbed him under the arm and rolled him over so he could check for life signs. The possibility that Luke was already dead was making him feel sick.

Luke's face was a mess, gashed and bloody, his skin nearly purple from exposure to the freezing cold. There was still no movement from him, not a sound, not even an eye-blink.

"Oh, Luke… come on." Biggs pulled his own scarf away from his face and leaned down close to Luke's mouth, hoping to at least feel warm air to indicate he was still breathing. At first he felt nothing. "Come on, come on..."

Then there was a shallow but warm puff of breath on Biggs' cheek that contrasted the cold air sharply and he let out a sigh of relief. "Oh, thank the Force." Luke was still alive! Just barely, but he could work with that. There was no way he'd be able to get Luke back to the base tonight but he had a shelter kit and thermal blankets in his saddle bags. They could make it.


	8. Chapter 8

_Luke pulls through, but still he and Biggs can't seem to catch a break. Then the Alliance falls into mayhem and things may have spiraled too far out of control. Luke has to leave and he doesn't know when he's coming back._

* * *

The air inside the shelter was warmer than Biggs thought he'd be able to get it. The power cell in the miniature heater should easily last them through the night so he decided to leave it on for now.

He'd removed all of Luke's wet clothing and wrapped him up tightly in every blanket he had. Luke had partially woken up several times, muttering unintelligible things that Biggs couldn't make sense of, and he wasn't out of the woods yet, but he was doing much better than he had been when Biggs first found him. His skin was no longer blue-ish and clammy and he was breathing more evenly.

Biggs was using some antiseptic gauze from his medkit to clean up Luke's face. Once he mopped up the dried blood he didn't look quite so bad, but those gashes were probably going to scar. His right eye socket was dark and bruised and his cheek was swollen, likely indicating a fracture. His nose might be broken, too. There was nothing Biggs could do about that except give him something for the pain once he was awake enough to swallow on his own.

"You know, if this is your idea of playing hard-to-get…" Biggs joked quietly, knowing Luke probably couldn't hear him. The conversation they'd had back in the lounge on the base kept playing out in his thoughts, and their almost-kiss had left him with little headspace for much else when he'd gone back to work. He was beyond excited for when he'd see Luke again that evening.

Everything he'd assumed these past three years, about Luke's feelings, telling himself not to read into things too much… had it all been wrong? Maybe things had just changed. Either way, he and Luke might actually have something here, something far beyond the closely-bonded friendship they'd shared since they first met.

And then it was almost lost.

Biggs watched Luke's face, watched him sleep, and wondered just how close he'd come to losing Luke forever. There was still a possibility that Luke might pass away during the night but Biggs was trying not to think about that. He'd make him as warm as possible, do everything he could, stay up all night and watch him if he had to.

Luke suddenly took a deeper breath and made a soft sound. His tired eyes slowly opened. Biggs scooted closer to him and laid a comforting hand on his chest over the many layers of blankets. "Hey, Luke." He waited until Luke's eyes seemed to focus on him. "Take it easy, alright? You're safe." He still had no idea what happened to Luke but it must have been pretty traumatic.

Even though he was clearly focused on Biggs now, there was still no change in Luke's expression. He seemed groggy and confused. "Biggs?" he croaked weakly. His throat sounded dry and tight and the swelling and pain in his face was making it difficult for him to form words. "Where—…?"

"Shhh, relax. I put up a shelter for us. We're going to have to wait out this storm for now. My tauntaun dropped dead about an hour ago and I couldn't find yours so we'll have to wait until it warms up to even attempt the trip back. Though, hopefully we won't have to." By daybreak half the base would be out looking for them, he knew that. He just hoped Luke could last that long.

Biggs set aside the medkit and reached a hand under Luke's neck, lifting his head so he could push more of the blanket underneath and get his head propped up higher. "Can you stay awake for a while? I know you're tired but it could be dangerous if you fall asleep again."

Luke considered him for a moment, seemed to shift slightly under the blankets and assess his own condition. That was a good sign, though he was exhausted and still barely conscious at best. "I thi' so," he slurred out. "You jus' put on a pot o' coffee…"

Making jokes. Another good sign. Biggs smiled at him softly. "Sorry, no such luck. All I've got is water and ration bars."

"Mm." That was exhausted-Luke's sound of disapproval.

"Speaking of which," Biggs twisted around and reached behind him for his water canteen, "you're probably pretty dehydrated." He scooted further forward and lifted Luke's head up again to help him get as many sips of water as he could manage. Then he got him to take a couple anti-inflammation tabs to help with the pain and swelling.

Keeping Luke awake proved to be a challenge. Biggs had to stay close to him and tried to keep him talking, keep his brain working. He asked Luke what had happened and he learned about the wampa attack. Perhaps the base would need to send out some hunting parties. Wampas were aggressive and dangerous and they couldn't risk letting this happen again.

Then Biggs tried to steer away from unpleasant topics and he talked to Luke about Tatooine and their childhood, hoping that scrounging for memories would help Luke stay alert.

Soon, though, it became evident that Luke needed more rest. He was no longer groggy and confused and it seemed like he was out of any immediate danger, but it was getting difficult for him to keep his eyes open. Biggs decided that if Luke drifted off he'd let him, and simply wake him up every half hour or so just to be safe. It wouldn't be a very restful sleep but at least he'd be alive.

Biggs stretched out next to him and covered himself with one of the blankets. He was starting to feel cold too, and it would still be five hours or so until the sun came up. When he settled down on his side he found Luke watching him quietly. Biggs couldn't help but smile. Several hours ago he'd thought Luke might be gone for good. Now it seemed like things would be alright, so long as he could get Luke back to the base in the morning. Then they could continue where they left off…

"You know, you had me really scared for a while there," Biggs told him gently.

Luke gave him a sleepy half-smile in response. He was still in a bit of pain. "Sorry. I hadn't exactly been planning it." He gazed at Biggs for a moment, but then his eyes started to close.

Biggs moved in close to him so that they were sharing body warmth. It would help both of them avoid the cold, and, even though things were at a bit of a standstill between them for the moment, Biggs was filled with the urge to hold Luke, to touch him, anything. He just wanted to be close to him.

He slid his arm around Luke and pressed himself against his side. It was warm and comfortable and Luke made a small, contented sound even as he drifted off to sleep. Biggs tucked his nose against Luke's hair and breathed deeply. In this moment he felt very protective. He wouldn't let anything else happen to Luke.

For a while as Luke slept, Biggs watched him. Even bruised and injured, he thought Luke was beautiful. He always had. Luke had a sort of sweet innocence, and his clear, blue eyes were the kind you could get lost in. Though despite his boyish appearance, he wasn't so much innocent anymore. Luke was a seasoned soldier, a commander. He'd seen a lot of death, torture, destruction, violence, misery, and injustice. His eyes were deeper and wiser now; they'd witnessed things that teenaged Luke back on Tatooine couldn't have even imagined. He was powerful, confident, and he'd become a great leader.

Even so, Biggs wanted desperately to keep him safe, to watch over him, and protect him. He'd promised himself he would years ago and he had no plans of ever breaking that promise.

Tentatively, as Luke slept, Biggs pressed his lips to Luke's temple, then told him at barely above a whisper, "I love you."

* * *

Throughout the night, Luke had continuing dreams. He saw a vision. No, it was a vision he'd actually had, earlier in the snow. For a while he'd thought he was hallucinating, but it had to be real. His dream allowed him to flesh it out, make more sense of it.

Ben had appeared to him. He wanted Luke to go to a planet called Dagobah. He was to find a Jedi Master named Yoda and ask for instruction.

It wasn't entirely unreasonable to Luke that he'd seen what appeared to be Ben's ghost. After all, Ben had spoken to him before from beyond the grave. Being able to see him was new, but communicating with him wasn't. Ben had many abilities that Luke didn't yet understand.

Perhaps this was his chance to finally learn how to use them for himself.

* * *

Finally Biggs could breathe easily. That morning he and Luke had been found and returned safely to the base, and Luke was making a full recovery. He'd just spent several hours in a bacta tank and he was now resting in a recovery room. Unfortunately, Biggs didn't have any free time to spend with Luke now.

Odd readings were being picked up from that meteorite Luke found the day before and it was making everyone nervous. A team was being sent out to get more information, and if it proved to be a possible threat then the base would have to be evacuated. Some of the snow speeders were still being problematic so Biggs had a job to do. He would check on Luke later.

* * *

This wasn't exactly the greeting party Luke would have chosen for himself. He hadn't even been released from the medbay yet and he was already being _treated_ to another screaming match between Han and Leia.

"Why you… stuck up, half-witted, scruffy-looking… _nerf herder_!" Needless to say, Leia was angry. Normally her arguments were well thought-out and articulate. Han seemed to be especially good at reducing her to name-calling within an impressively short span of time.

Han spun around to give her a mock-insulted look. "_Who's_ scruffy-lookin'?" He leaned close to Luke as if pretending to share gossip with him, though Luke honestly didn't want to have anything to do with this discussion. "I must have hit pretty close to the mark to get her all riled up like that, huh kid?"

Luke glared at him, though his look still wasn't nearly as fierce as Leia's. She stepped forward, nodding indignantly.

"Well I guess you don't know everything about women yet." Without any further warning she leaned down, grabbed Luke's face with her hands on either side, and kissed him.

Needless to say, Luke was beyond surprised. Months ago he would have welcomed such an advance. Now? During the kiss, all he could think about was Biggs. If it had been almost anyone else Luke would have pulled away, but this was Leia; Princess of Alderaan, leader of the Rebel Alliance, and an armed woman in a very bad mood. He thought it wisest to just hold still and wait for it to be over. She was only doing this to prove a point to Han, right?

Finally, Leia released him and gave one last piercing glare to Han before she left the room. Luke watched her go, then glanced up at Han with a look that he hoped conveyed just how uninvolved in all of this he wanted to be.

Chewbacca growled something that Luke couldn't translate though it sounded like a wisecrack. Han was obviously trying to keep from looking defeated. "Take it easy," he told Luke before making his own hasty retreat. Chewbacca followed him.

Luke sighed in relief as he was finally left in peace. However, as he relaxed back against the reclining recovery bed, he caught sight of someone standing just outside another door.

It was Biggs, and the expression on his face was one of barely-concealed devastation.

Luke's heart leapt and he quickly sat up but before he could call out to him, Biggs turned around and was gone.

He hadn't been released from the medbay's care yet so he couldn't leave the room without violating orders. He would have to find Biggs later and explain what had happened. Surely Biggs would understand. He had to.

Luke couldn't bear to think what would happen otherwise.

* * *

It seemed like an eternity before Luke was finally checked out and released to return to duty. Of course, his first order of business was to find Biggs. He'd spent the last half hour of his time cooped up in the medbay getting more and more anxious by the minute.

He felt terrible. After all of this, everything he and Biggs had gone through, and after everything Biggs had done for him… witnessing what he had must have felt like a punch to the gut. No, worse. Heartbreak.

Luke went straight to the hangar bay, assuming that's were Biggs would be. Biggs was a lot like Luke in that he distracted himself with hard work when he was troubled. Sure enough, he found Biggs leaned over the cockpit of a snow speeder next to Wedge. The speeder's engine was running and everyone looked pleased. It seemed like they'd finally gotten all of the speeders set for use, though Biggs' expression was tight, strained.

As he stepped away from the speeder he caught sight of Luke and paused. The look he gave him made it feel like Luke's heart was being rended in two. There was a lot of pain in that look. The knowledge that Luke had done that to him absolutely ripped him apart inside.

Luke wasted no time and ran straight over to him.

"Biggs! Biggs, I gotta talk to you."

Biggs was quiet and hesitant, and his expression was as close to a glare as he'd ever given Luke before. That stung terribly. Luke felt a lump in his throat when Biggs looked at him like that and it twisted his gut with guilt and anguish. Then Biggs started to turn away and Luke stepped toward him, desperation filling him.

"Biggs, _please_!" He felt like he might fall to pieces if Biggs didn't stop... and to Luke's relief he did. As upset as he was, he apparently couldn't walk away from Luke like that, not when he was pleading the way he was. Although it took a moment before he finally turned around again to face Luke.

"Please, just let me explain," Luke continued, sensing that Biggs was still hesitant as to whether or not he wanted to talk about it at the moment. "I never meant to–" Luke didn't go any further when he realized that others in the hangar were starting to stare. Biggs picked up on it too.

"Let's go over here," he told Luke in a stilted tone and he led the way to a quiet maintenance bay.

Luke was deflated and nervous but determined to get across his side of the story, to reassure Biggs more than anything. When they were reasonably alone, Luke stood before him and tried to look him in the eyes but after a short attempt he had to lower his gaze again. Biggs was glowering at him and he couldn't bear to look.

"Look, what you saw, back there in the medbay—… I didn't want that."

"Really?" Biggs said it flatly, as if he wasn't even close to convinced.

Luke finally looked up at him, a bit surprised at the cold tone. "No! Of course I didn't." He couldn't remember the last time Biggs had ever doubted him like this. In fact, he was sure it had never happened before. It hurt more than he possibly could have imagined.

"I don't know, Luke. Everyone knows you've been in love with her for years and you've been denying feeling anything for me for just as long. What am I supposed to think after seeing that?"

Feeling suddenly defensive Luke was about to argue, but then he stopped and realized that... Biggs was right. That was exactly what Luke had been projecting, wasn't it? To everyone, even Biggs, for quite some time now. He'd been so afraid of what could happen between them that he'd fought very hard to keep _anything_ from happening, assuming that it might end in disaster. Leia had been safe. He still didn't feel nearly as strongly for her as he did for Biggs... but he hadn't let anyone know that.

At least, not outright. Some people managed to figure it out anyway even if it later became a big joke.

Every prod and tease from the Rogues about his feelings for Biggs was immediately and thoroughly denied, for years. He'd done so out of fear but how was anyone else to know that?

From what Biggs had witnessed, and everything that Luke had desperately hidden from him, it was no wonder he was reacting this way. The depth of his hurt was clearly visible. Empathy washed over Luke as understanding hit him and all of his defensiveness melted away. He lowered his eyes to the floor and sighed before pressing his lips together.

"I'm so sorry... Biggs. I–" he shook his head and searched for the right words to explain himself but nothing seemed adequate. "Leia and Han were arguing again and I guess she was trying to prove something to him, or... I don't know. But either way, she did it against my wishes. I didn't want her to–"

"You didn't stop her," Biggs countered, more hurt seeping into his tone.

It stung but Luke braced himself and persisted. "No, _I couldn't_! She was upset and Han was being a jerk. Imagine how embarrassed she would have been if I'd pulled away. I couldn't do that to her." He tried taking a small step closer to Biggs, attempting a more comforting tone. "But that's all it was, I promise. I couldn't hurt Leia and I couldn't let Han win when he was treating her that way."

Gradually, very gradually, the look in Biggs' eyes was beginning to soften. Finally his gaze lowered to the ground and after a moment he muttered, "That's... sweet. Actually." It was a very quiet admission but it seemed like maybe Luke was finally winning him over.

Luke released a tiny, hesitant smile, just a quirk in one corner of his mouth. "And..." his smile faded, "I'm so sorry, for all those years that I was so quick to deny things. I was just..." he shrugged helplessly, "scared. I was terrified that I might accidentally destroy what we already have. With Leia... I didn't know her before. If I ruined things with her there was no long, meaningful friendship that would have been lost. And I mean, I liked her but not nearly as much as–"

Luke paused when he caught the smile forming on Biggs' face. "What?"

It turned into a grin. "I don't think I could ever manage to stay angry at you. The things you do and say… make me smile. Can't help it." He shrugged lightly and closed the space between them just a little more with a barely-perceptible shuffle of a foot and a lean.

"Oh," Luke replied with a quickly-growing smile, dropping his gaze sheepishly. His eyes darted around, settling on one of Biggs' hands and he pondered reaching out… He could feel his cheeks heating up. "I guess I should let Leia know that… I'm not available for kissing anymore." Maybe he and Leia had walked that road at one time but now he was very dedicated to an entirely different path. He wanted Biggs and no one else. It would be a good idea to tell Leia anyway so that she knew where they stood.

When he dared to glance back up at Biggs he was somewhat surprised to see the beginnings of a smirk. Biggs seemed to guess where Luke was headed with that. "Let her down gently, huh?" _So that I can step in_, seemed to be the unspoken ending to that sentence.

Luke couldn't help but grin coyly. Alone in this back corner of a maintenance bay, Luke healed, Biggs' task finished, and with a more complete mutual understanding between them, now seemed the perfect time for that continuation of the interrupted moment they'd had yesterday. Luke's heart started pounding with excitement.

Biggs barely took a step forward when the alarm system suddenly went off throughout the base, reverberating off the many hallways and echoing in the spacious hangar bay. Luke wanted to shout in frustration but he held it in and merely sighed instead. Biggs looked disappointed as well, but he didn't seem too surprised.

"Sounds like that meteorite of yours was a threat after all. I guess we'd better head to the briefing." He caught the annoyed expression on Luke's face and patted his arm before turning to leave. "We'll talk again later, alright?"

He didn't really give Luke much of a chance to respond before he went jogging away across the hangar. The problem was that Luke wasn't sure if there would _be_ a later. Not for a while, anyway.

Master Yoda was waiting.

* * *

Crumbling ice spilled from the ceilings and the walls shook. Crews ran to their stations and snow speeders took flight, out the hangar and towards the oncoming battle. A ground attack was coming toward them and Star Destroyers waited in orbit above. The Imperial fleet arrived sooner than they'd anticipated and the Rebels had no hope of saving the base. All they could do was run.

Rogue Squadron's job was to slow the attack as much as possible to allow the base to be fully evacuated. Green Squadron escorted the transports off planet one at a time while the ion cannon shot a clear path.

The battle itself was a defeat but a majority of Alliance personnel made it to safety and they left little behind that would be of any use to the Empire.

Now the pilots were transferring to their fighters to make their escapes, after which they were to rendezvous with the fleet. Luke, however, had other plans. Ever since Ben was killed, Luke had feared that he would never again find someone to teach him the ways of the Jedi. He learned what he could on his own but it wasn't enough. If he advanced far enough to defeat Darth Vader, Luke knew he could give the Alliance the edge it needed to win the war. He couldn't miss out on this opportunity. Even if all he had seen really was just a hallucination, he had to try.

He didn't tell anyone where he was going, or that he wouldn't be meeting up with the fleet at all. It was too dangerous. Ever since the Battle of Yavin, Luke had been dodging some of the best assassins and bounty hunters in the galaxy, most of them employed by associates of the Empire. While he was with the Rebel fleet he had some semblance of protection. On his own, however, he was vulnerable. It was too risky to let anyone know of his plans.

It especially hurt to have to hide things from Biggs, but Luke knew that he would do the same in his position. He'd lied to Luke before to protect them both. This wasn't any different.

He was also aware that the Alliance might think he was dead when they didn't hear from him for months. That's how things would have to be. He would return when he could.

Once Luke made it past the Imperial's blockade of the planet Hoth, he set his hyperspace navigation for the Dagobah system and Artoo-Detoo made the calculations. He hadn't even stayed long enough to make sure the other pilots made it to their ships. They might have asked questions or wanted to make the jump to the fleet as a group.

The last thing Luke saw when he took off was a group of pilots in their orange flight suits running through the snow towards their ships. He knew Biggs was among them.

_They'll never stop us, Biggs. I'll come back._


	9. Chapter 9

_Biggs deals with the possibility that Luke may be dead. Luke begins his journey down the path of the Jedi but makes mistakes that result in far more pain and sacrifice than he thought possible._

* * *

It had been nearly a month since the evacuation. The Alliance was still afloat but it seemed they hadn't made as clean an escape from Hoth as they'd originally hoped. Princess Leia had fled with Captain Solo on the _Millennium Falcon_, the whereabouts of which were unknown, and Commander Skywalker still hadn't been seen or heard from. Twenty-three out of thirty-six transports were destroyed at the blockade, some of the base's personnel never even made it to their transports, many ground troops were killed, and several Rogue and Green Squadron pilots had also been lost during the battle. Morale was low.

After such a time the fleet had been forced to move on and make do with what they had. Home One, a Mon Calamari capital ship, was their new headquarters. Biggs was made the new commander of Rogue Squadron with Wedge assigned as his executive officer. As with many military promotions, it was made with solemn practicality.

Biggs accepted the position, but reluctantly. He knew that it had to be done for the purpose of organization and keeping the fleet in smooth, running order while messes were still being cleaned up after the defeat at Hoth. Rogue Squadron needed a leader and he was happy to serve, but he refused to believe that it would be a permanent change.

Despite what the others said, he couldn't believe that Luke never made it past the blockade. Those Star Destroyers had given the personnel transports a lot of trouble, but a skilled pilot in a tiny X-wing fighter, especially one as skilled as Luke, could have made it through in his sleep.

Something else must have happened. Maybe it was a secret mission, or maybe the _Falcon_ got into a scrape and Luke went to help them. The fact that Han and Leia were also unaccounted for supported that theory. Biggs knew the three of them were close and were often assigned on missions together.

There was a tinge of jealousy in him about that but he knew it was unfounded. Biggs had a tremendous amount of faith in Luke and they were closer than anyone else either of them knew.

That's how things started, anyway. As the weeks wore on, Biggs became less and less sure he'd ever see Luke again. Even if he'd made it past the blockade, any number of other things could have happened, planned or unplanned. And Luke had never had any mission before that Biggs didn't know about, secret or otherwise.

He hated letting himself dwell on it but he couldn't stop. When almost two months passed Biggs was beginning to believe the popular theory, that Luke just hadn't made it. It wore on him, took his thoughts down dark paths, and it rabidly preyed on his spirit. He'd lost friends before, and loved ones too, but when someone simply died, he could receive the news, grieve for a time, and then move on. This was different. It was the not knowing. Luke could still be out there somewhere. What if he needed help? What if he was struggling to complete his mission? What if he'd been captured, or was being tortured day after day? Maybe he really had died but Biggs might spend the rest of his life never knowing for sure. Not knowing was the worst part.

He distracted himself with work, and lots of it. Biggs took on as many assignments as he could and he held frequent squadron drills and training sessions. His routine had become somewhat robotic and he pushed his squadron hard, sometimes past the point of exhaustion. They started to notice.

"Normally I don't start discussions this way but I'd like to say this as your friend instead of your executive officer. You need a break." Wedge stood in the doorway of Biggs' quarters with his arms folded across his chest. "Actually, _we_ need a break but that can't happen until you decide to put down the whip for five minutes."

Biggs had kind of gotten the feeling that this conversation was coming but he wasn't feeling particularly receptive to other opinions at the moment. "This is a war, Wedge. We can't afford to take breaks."

"I'm not talking about going on a four-week vacation to Ithor and soaking in mud baths in some meditation garden. Just take an evening off every once in a while. Go to bed early. Schedule the first shift for mid-morning instead of oh-six-hundred. You're running us ragged and—you don't look so good either."

Biggs went to give Wedge an unconvinced look, but as his gaze shifted up from his desk he could almost _feel_ the bags under his eyes. Maybe Wedge had a point.

"And this is coming from me of all people so you know it's serious."

Another good point. Usually Wedge was the workaholic who never set aside relaxation time if he could help it. Though Wedge was also honest and pragmatic to a fault. If _he_ was telling Biggs to relax then maybe it really was time to rethink his work schedule.

On the other hand, just the idea of having a few spare hours alone with his thoughts sounded unpleasant, no matter what else he was doing.

"I get your point, I just—I don't know if I can." Biggs rubbed his tired eyes.

"It's been tough for all of us, boss."

Biggs looked up at him but that didn't really help him much. Wedge had one of those faces that was difficult to read. His bland tone was equally unhelpful. Still, Biggs knew him well enough to be aware that this was Wedge's version of a pep talk. 'Suck it up and keep going'. It was a very Corellian attitude.

"Yeah… I know." They were all upset by the disappearance of their squadron leader. Biggs had been closest to Luke, but they had all been his friends.

"—And you know that it's command spreading all of that trash about him being lost forever, right?"

No, actually, he hadn't known that. Biggs gave him a look of mild surprise.

"They don't want us getting distracted by 'false hope'. It's smart, I'll give them that, I just don't think they anticipated what kind of an effect it'd have on his _boyfriend_."

This time Biggs actually rolled his eyes.

Wedge held up his hands defensively. "Fine, call yourself Luke's whatever-you-like. My point is, starfighter command is pretty oblivious when it comes to this stuff."

Maybe Biggs shouldn't be too surprised that the almost, sort-of, pseudo-relationship he'd had with Luke was common knowledge by this point. The rumors of such had certainly had a long run. "So what are you saying? You think he's still alive?"

Wedge raised his eyebrows, which was typically as expressive as he got. "Biggs, this is Luke Skywalker we're talking about. He's defied death so many times you'd think rumors of the Alliance possessing a cloning facility would have popped up by now. The idea that he was finally snuffed out by a mere blockade just sounds… insulting."

Biggs had told himself the same thing a month or so ago, but it was getting harder to keep believing that as time passed. "So then… what? He had a mission? Why didn't he tell me? He always told me about things like that."

Wedge shrugged. "Maybe he couldn't tell anyone."

"Yeah, but, he even told me about those, the ones he supposedly couldn't tell anyone."

"Maybe this one was different."

Biggs sighed. He knew that was a possibility but it was one he didn't like. If it was a mission that even Biggs couldn't know about, that likely meant it was very dangerous. It also meant that there would be no communication if Luke got himself into trouble. No one knew where he was so a rescue wasn't possible.

"I just wish I knew _something_."

"You and the rest of the fleet."

It _was_ a bit odd that even the higher-ups had no information at all. They could just be hiding it but they usually at least admitted to the branch commanders that they knew something, they just weren't able to share it. The fact that the entire Alliance was in the dark about Luke was very strange. It brought Biggs back to the thought that Luke had to be dead.

_No_, he couldn't allow himself to think that way. There had to be something. He rested his chin on his fist and squinted at the far wall. "Luke must have mentioned something at some point. A clue or… It's just not like him to run off without a reason or at least a change in behavior. He was always bad at hiding things."

"Well, he certainly spent more time with you than anyone else." Wedge's tone was dry but if he'd been any other person, Biggs was sure he would have sounded amused. "Did he ever say anything out of the ordinary?"

"I imagine he did at some point. I just wish I could remember." Even if Biggs had been carrying around a sound recorder during every conversation he'd had with Luke over the last week or two before the Hoth evacuation, it'd take him forever to go through all of it. And picking out just one set of clues amongst all that would be like searching a dewback's nest for eggs. He wouldn't know where to start. "I just can't help but think that I missed something."

Wedge seemed to be losing his grip on the conversation. He was far better at giving tactical advice than relationship advice. "Alright, well look, I gotta get some sleep. You should do the same. Don't let this keep you up all night."

Biggs nodded to him absently as Wedge left the room. He'd try to sleep but chances were good that he'd spend several hours tossing and turning before finally giving up and heading to the gym or the simulators. This was no way to run a squadron but he couldn't seem to force himself to do anything else. He'd have to manage somehow and the others would need to be patient with him while he figured it out.

* * *

The air was heavy and thick with the smells of damp vegetation. Creatures cawed and screaked and flapped in the trees all around. Luke felt connected to all of it. His eyes were closed but somehow he knew the shape and location and movement of every living thing near him. The swamp breathed as he did. Its heart beat steadily.

"Good. Feel the Force flowing all around you. Through you. In and out again." Master Yoda's gravelly, froglike voice barely seemed to interrupt the sounds of nature.

Luke breathed deeply and evenly. It had taken him a long time to get to the point where he could relax entirely and concentrate enough to feel everything around him on such a level. There were insects near him, birds, lizards, he could even feel the plant life.

"Connected we are, to everything, to the Force. We exist only as part of its energy. When we are gone, return to it we will. All we are, all we have, returns too. Connected we are, but not only in this lifetime. Friends you have, people you love, memories, places, things, one day let go of them you must. All returns to the Force in the end, but in life such things may cloud the mind. Release yourself to the will of the Force, you must."

A feeling of discomfort pressed against Luke's mind at this thought.

"Bothers you, this does?" Yoda's voice remained even and calm; objective.

"What do you mean I have to let go of everyone I know?"

"Attachments, part of life they are. Unavoidable. Even necessary. But all things come to an end. One day, gone from your life they will be. Maybe you will go on. Learn to let go of them you must. Let the Force free you of such burdens."

"How do I do that?"

"Mmm. People close to you, you have. Feelings of doubt and fear, I sense." Could Yoda have heard his thoughts about Biggs? He'd been trying to remain focused on his training since he got here but sometimes it was difficult to keep his mind from straying. He missed Biggs terribly. "Much time, it takes. I cannot teach you how. It is something you must meditate upon. Fear to lose someone, do you?"

"Ummm… no one in particular." It was partially true. There were really quite a few people he feared to lose. "I suppose it's just a new idea to me. I'll work on it."

"Yes. Much drive you have, but beware of your fear. Let it go. Let peace take its place in your mind. All of your friends, strong feelings for them you have. Exist in the Force they will for all time. Be at peace with that."

Luke let out a slow breath and nodded.

"—And that young man, be waiting for you he will when you return." Luke's eyes shot open and his face went a bit red when he saw Yoda watching him with some amusement in his expression. Luke pressed his lips together and nodded again, trying not to look as embarrassed as he felt.

* * *

"Commander, even under normal circumstances, what you're requesting would be a stretch." General Rieekan's usually calm expression was somewhat strained. "But our forces are spread thinly as it is. We've suffered heavy losses recently and we can't afford to lose you for an indeterminate period of time over nothing more than a hunch."

Biggs wasn't ready to admit defeat yet. "But sir, it's not just a hunch. I know what I heard; he said 'Dagobah'. And if I can find Commander Skywalker, wouldn't that more than make up for it?"

The general excelled at keeping his manner gentle but firm. "It's a nice thought but it's one we simply can't entertain at the moment. Our evidence tells us that Skywalker didn't survive, and chances are good your search would be in vain. Aside from that, didn't you say that he was hallucinating when he said this?"

"No, not hallucinating, I think he was having visions. Sir, he has powers that allow him to see things that we can't. I don't understand them but the fact that he mentioned the name of a system right before disappearing is just a little too coincidental for me to ignore."

"Well you're going to have to, commander."

Biggs pressed his lips together and let out a breath through his nose in frustration. He leaned his hands on Rieekan's desk and tried to think of an appropriate counter-argument, but he knew that pressing things could get him into trouble.

General Rieekan leaned forward and clasped his hands in front of him. "I know this issue is close to you, Darklighter, but I think you're approaching it from the wrong perspective. Let's say Skywalker did survive and he went to the Dagobah system after the Hoth evacuation, just as you suspect he did. Obviously, he did it for a reason. If he didn't tell anyone about his plans then it's quite evident he didn't want to be followed."

This was something that Biggs hadn't yet considered and he glowered, reluctantly considering that what the general was saying could be true. He still didn't like the idea of Luke running off somewhere without telling him and intentionally keeping things from him. Of course Luke had every right to, especially if he did it for everyone's safety, but it just didn't sit right with Biggs.

"I understand that you want Skywalker returned to the fleet safe and sound, but maybe the best way to do that is to respect the fact that he wished to be left alone for a time. Perhaps going after him would put him in danger. If he's still alive then I think he likely has everything under control. Give him a chance to pull through on his own."

Finally Rieekan's words were starting to get through to Biggs and he slowly nodded in reluctant understanding. Luke was strong, bright, resilient, and resourceful. Perhaps Biggs was being selfish and he only wanted Luke back for personal reasons. He couldn't violate Luke's trust like that. Maybe Luke really did have everything under control.

* * *

Luke felt like everything was out of control. He'd abandoned his training with Master Yoda, faced Vader when he wasn't ready, paid for it with his right hand and very nearly his life, allowed Han to be taken by a bounty hunter, and now he was facing a truth that he very much didn't want to.

No, he couldn't call it truth yet. Vader could have been lying. He had probably lied. Though as much as Luke tried to tell himself that, everything inside him told him it was true. He stretched out with the Force, searching for an answer, but he still couldn't sense the lie. Either his skills weren't as good as he'd hoped they were, or Vader really was his father.

_Ben, why didn't you tell me?_

Luke spent most of the _Falcon_'s hyperspace jump to the Alliance fleet attempting to reach Ben Kenobi. He'd spoken to Luke before several times, even appeared to him on Hoth. Why wouldn't he talk to Luke now? He needed him. Ben told him Vader killed his father. Had he been the one lying? Why would he do such a thing?

None of it made any sense and Luke's head was spinning. He ached everywhere and it hurt to even think of what all of this meant. Now he had to return to the fleet, faced with the very real possibility that he could be the son of one of the Alliance's most powerful and hated enemies. It was too much. Luke curled up on the _Falcon_'s med table under a blanket and tried to sleep for the rest of the trip but he couldn't possibly find rest.


	10. Chapter 10

_Luke has finally returned to the fleet but it may not end up being the joyful reunion that Biggs had hoped it would be. Luke has a dark secret that he fears could change his future._

* * *

"Sir, there's a vessel approaching. It just came out of hyperspace."

Admiral Ackbar strode quickly to the defense console where an ensign had a ship tracked on her monitor. The chance of a random ship happening across the fleet's secret location in open space was almost nil, and they weren't expecting the arrival of any Alliance ship either. "Can you identify it?"

The officer ran a scan on it. "No, sir. It has an Alliance code, but the system doesn't recognize the ship's signature. It appears to be a Corellian freighter."

Ackbar's Mon Calamarian face made it difficult to read his expression but he was stunned by this news. He was almost certain it was the _Millennium Falcon_. "Hail them."

"Yes, sir. A channel is open."

"Corellian freighter, this is Admiral Ackbar. Identify yourselves."

After a brief static, a female voice was heard over the channel. "Admiral? This is Leia Organa aboard the _Millennium Falcon_. Sorry we're late."

Ackbar gave a Calamarian smile under his rubbery whiskers. "Quite forgiven, princess. Welcome home."

"Thank you, admiral. Commander Skywalker is with me. For now he's stable but he's going to need medical attention when we land."

Yet more good news, despite Skywalker's apparent injuries. Ackbar felt tremendous relief. "Understood. I'll have a medical team sent to the aft main hangar."

* * *

The warning alarms sounded in the hangar, announcing that a ship would be docking. Maintenance crews and pilots cleared the area and stood aside as the _Millennium Falcon_ cleared the hangar doors and made its landing. Its repulsors hissed as the landing struts touched the ground, and the boarding ramp lowered.

A group of pilots near the back of the hangar recognized the ship and started talking excitedly. One of them shouted, "Get Biggs!"

Within seconds Biggs came running, heart pounding. The _Falcon_ returning was wonderful news but it could mean any number of things. Hopefully Princess Leia and Captain Solo both made it back safely… and Biggs fiercely hoped that they at least knew Luke's whereabouts. He even dared to entertain the tiny possibility that they'd brought Luke home with them.

He noticed there was a med team taking a repulsor stretcher up the ramp. That didn't look good. It meant someone on board was injured. Biggs stepped as close as he dared, craning his neck to get a glimpse inside the _Falcon_. He felt excitement but also a sick dread. What if they brought news that Luke had been killed?

Finally, someone was coming down the ramp. Biggs' heart nearly leapt out of his throat but he quickly felt disappointed when he saw a man he didn't recognize. The princess followed him and as she stepped off the ramp she turned to watch the medical crew bring the repulsor stretcher. Biggs wanted to run over to Leia and asked her a million questions but he was afraid of getting in the way. For now he could only watch.

He assumed that Han would be on the stretcher, or maybe yet another person they picked up somewhere. Biggs still had no idea where they'd been. Then, as the stretcher cleared the ramp, the person laying on it became visible.

It took Biggs a moment to recognize Luke, he was so bruised and dirty, but it was definitely him. He couldn't help himself. "Luke!" The amount of relief he felt was indescribable and he forgot all protocol as he sprinted for the stretcher. "Luke!"

Luke's head turned when he heard his name. He was clearly conscious and at least somewhat mobile, Biggs was relieved to see. Other than being a little beaten about, his injuries didn't look too bad. Luke held out his arm to Biggs as he ran over, giving him an exhausted smile, "Biggs…"

As he approached Biggs grinned broadly, though he couldn't help but feel a bit emotional. He gripped Luke's outstretched hand when he was close enough and stepped up next to the stretcher. "Luke! I don't believe it. What—what happened? I—"

Luke started shaking his head. "I'll tell you later. It's a long story."

Right, of course it was. Anything that kept Luke away from the fleet this long must be quite the story and Luke looked far too exhausted to regale him right now. Biggs nodded. "Fair enough. I'm just—" He couldn't properly convey the joy he felt and some of the words he wanted to use didn't seem appropriate in present company. Biggs glanced around at the other personnel, the princess, the med team, the stranger whose name he still didn't know, and felt a bit self-conscious. He'd have to tell Luke how he really felt later, when they were alone.

"Sir, we're going to transfer you to the _Redemption_ for treatment," a member of the medical team said to Luke.

Luke nodded as if he'd been expecting it.

Biggs was confused. The _Redemption_ was a medical frigate used for things like surgeries and bacta treatment and more serious ailments. Luke must be worse off than he looked. As the stretcher was pushed towards the lift that would take them to the shuttle hangar, Biggs worriedly searched Luke for an injury he'd missed and then he saw it, the autotourniquet device on his right arm. His entire hand was missing.

As the stretcher was pushed away from him, Biggs released his grip on Luke's remaining hand and watched him sadly for a moment. Luke must have really been through something. Even though he had returned, alive and safe, Biggs felt a bit of sorrow for him. There was just something about all of this that felt… sad.

Biggs suddenly realized he was standing in the middle of the hangar and staring forlornly, while the crews around him went about their work, occasionally glancing at him and muttering to each other. Most of them knew he and Luke were close. Over by the lift, several higher officers had gathered, including General Rieekan. Biggs approached him determinedly.

"Sir."

"Commander." Rieekan looked almost like he already knew what Biggs was going to ask him.

"Requesting permission to board the _Redemption_ and leave this afternoon's drills to Lieutenant Antilles."

Sure enough, Rieekan wasn't surprised. He did, however, glance over Biggs' shoulder.

Biggs followed his gaze and saw Wedge standing nearby. He gave a thumbs-up, as if to say that he could handle it no problem. He knew how important this was to Biggs.

After a pause to consider the request, and likely thinking back to the last conversation he'd had with Commander Darklighter, Rieekan finally, reluctantly nodded. "Granted."

Biggs let out a breath he'd been holding. "Thank you, sir."

* * *

It was several hours before Luke was released from initial surgery. The main implants for his prosthesis had been installed but it would take nearly a week for the synthflesh to grow into place and cover the joint where synthetic limb met real skin. For now the prosthesis was offline and his arm had been bandaged to keep out infection.

He was set up in a recovery room and looked far better than he did before. He was cleaned up and his other, minor wounds had already been healed with bacta spray. Leia had gone back to Home One to handle some debriefing and other important matters. Luke was left alone in the room, reclined on a recovery bed.

They'd given him drugs for the pain and he felt much better physically, but worry still clouded his mind. He wasn't left to his thoughts for long before a mechanical swish told him that someone had just entered the room. He turned his head to see Biggs approaching him somewhat hesitantly. Concern was plainly visible on his face, but there was also immense relief.

Luke smiled at him as genuinely as he could, but he was very tired. He still hadn't gotten a chance to sleep, though right now he doubted he'd be able to.

Biggs sat on a stool next to his bed, looking like he wanted to ask a million different questions. Luke could only imagine how he was feeling, so before he could ask anything, Luke started out. "I know. I know, Biggs. I'm so sorry. I couldn't tell anyone where I was going."

Biggs let out a small breath and seemed to relax a bit. Maybe he was grateful to hear Luke initiating this discussion. "You could have at least told me you were going away for a while."

Luke shook his head. "No, I couldn't. I couldn't have you looking for me if something went wrong."

This put tension back into Biggs' shoulders. He sat quietly for a moment, then finally said, "You went to the Dagobah system."

Luke's eyes went round in surprise. "How do you know that?"

"You talked in your sleep." Biggs smirked.

Out in the storm, Luke guessed. That was the last night he and Biggs had spent together, after Ben spoke to him. He sighed, somewhat disappointed in himself. It really said something about Biggs that he knew where Luke was but still didn't go after him. He must have realized that it could ruin Luke's plans. After all these years, the trust between them continued to grow. "I found a Jedi Master there. Yoda. Apparently he's been in exile for years. I learned a lot from him but I don't know if it'll be enough."

"That's why you went." It wasn't a question. Biggs knew how anxious Luke had been over the fact that his Jedi training had been at a standstill for three years. He didn't understand much about it, but he was supportive anyway and Luke always appreciated that.

"Yeah. I couldn't miss that opportunity. It was too important, but I knew going there on my own would be dangerous. That's why I didn't say anything."

Biggs nodded. He gestured to Luke's arm. "How did that happen?"

Luke glanced down at the bandages and felt a tinge of dread. There were certain things he didn't want to talk about yet; he wasn't ready, and he still hadn't decided how much he was going to say. Admitting his mistakes might be a good place to start, though. "I found out Han and Leia had gotten themselves into trouble on Bespin, at a mining facility called Cloud City. Han apparently had a friend there. I—made some bad calls. It turned out to be a trap. The Empire had taken over the city and Vader used Han and Leia as bait to draw me there."

By now Biggs looked alarmed. "You faced _Vader_? On your own?!"

At first Luke assumed that Biggs was admonishing him. "I know. Believe me, I know. I wasn't ready and I almost didn't make it out of there. I learned my lesson about a thousand times over, and now I'll have a permanent reminder." He held up the lifeless prosthetic hand.

"No," Biggs said as he leaned closer, his voice low and sounding somewhat awe-struck. "No, Luke… that's incredible."

He was obviously impressed but Luke didn't feel worthy of such praise. Even if it wasn't luck that had gotten him out of there alive, Luke now knew who had passed those powers onto him. It left a bad taste in his mouth and he felt as if he was now carrying around a dark shadow that he had to hide. Eventually he would need to tell someone, need to tell Biggs, and that terrified him.

Biggs tilted his head at Luke, watching his expression closely. He seemed to notice his somber manner. "Luke, what else happened?" It was inevitable that Biggs would figure out that he was hiding something. Biggs knew him too well.

Luke stared across the room at the wall, feeling numb. What was he supposed to do now? Just refuse to tell Biggs and hope that he left it alone? It seemed that was his only option. Biggs usually respected his wishes but if this became a problem somewhere down the road, he might push some more. "… I can't tell you."

He didn't have to look over to tell that Biggs was hurt. All of this keeping secrets and running away and now that Luke was back, he had to hide things from Biggs yet again. He felt terrible but there wasn't any other option.

"Why not?" Biggs sounded like he was asking that question reluctantly, like he could tell this was difficult for Luke but his morbid curiosity was winning out.

"I'm just—… I'm not ready to talk about it yet."

More silence followed. Luke finally dared to glance at Biggs and saw him staring at the floor listlessly. He met Luke's gaze and then nodded, at least pretending to be satisfied with that answer. "Then you take all the time you need."

It was only a marginally comforting response. Biggs was good at hiding his feelings and Luke knew there was likely some disappointment in there. They sat in yet another moment of silence but soon Biggs was moving slowly and his hand came up to stroke the back of Luke's neck, fingers threaded through his hair.

Instantly, Luke was filled with conflicting emotions. He wanted his touch so badly, had desired it for years, but something else inside him wanted to plead with Biggs to run far, far away from him. He was bad news, tainted, and Biggs deserved so much better. Luke knew that wasn't true, but that voice in his head was a loud one. At the very least, he couldn't justify letting someone get involved with him while his life was such a mess. Biggs deserved to know who he really was, but he wasn't ready to disclose that information yet. Luke wasn't even sure who he was himself.

He would need to do a lot of digging and soul-searching before he felt stable enough to allow someone to be this close to him, especially someone he cared for as much as Biggs.

"For a while there, I didn't think I'd ever see you again," Biggs told him quietly.

Through his stronger connection to the Force, Luke could actually begin to feel some of Biggs' emotions. There was immense care, deep attachment, and… love.

Luke met his gaze—those kind, searching eyes—and was nearly drawn in, but he had to hold back. "A few times, I thought the same thing," he replied, trying to keep the sadness he felt out of his voice. In the past two months, there had been multiple occasions where Luke had been sure he was a goner.

Biggs leaned forward slightly and slowly moved his hand, stroking the backs of his fingers along Luke's jaw.

Finally Luke had to pull away. He turned his head and looked at the floor. He couldn't watch Biggs' expression. "Biggs—I can't."

This time there was complete silence. Biggs never responded, though Luke saw him lower his hand out of the corner of his eye.

"… Just—for now. I'm sorry." Luke tried to soften the blow as much as he could but he knew it wouldn't help. "There's too much that I—I need to figure out." He searched desperately for a way to explain it better than that, but panic was beginning to rise in his throat. The fact that he was having to do this was tearing him to shreds.

Next to him, Biggs made a small sound, an exhalation of air, and he ducked his head. Luke still couldn't bear to look him in the eyes. Biggs was confident, strong-willed, and he trusted Luke, but there was only so much even he could take before his resolve started to crumble. Without a word he rose from the chair and started to head for the door.

Everything in Luke screamed at him to stop Biggs, to call him back, but right now that would get both of them nowhere. He had to let Biggs walk away.


	11. Chapter 11

_Biggs fears that Luke may never fully recover from his trauma, and as they head into what may be the biggest turning point for the war against the Empire, the risks they're both taking make them realize what they could lose._

* * *

What Biggs had hoped might bring things back to normal wound up doing the opposite. Luke was alive. He had returned. That was the important part and Biggs was beyond grateful, but he couldn't help feeling like he'd lost Luke after all. His best friend was no longer the person he'd known. His experience had traumatized him, that much was clear, and whatever he couldn't tell Biggs must be earth-shattering.

Luke had become distant, quiet, contemplative. In a way, he'd grown up. He'd faced something very dark, survived, and walked away with a matured perspective of the universe, but Biggs worried that Luke had changed too much. And whatever was keeping them apart, hopefully Luke would be able to deal with it sooner rather than later.

This war was eating all of them alive but Biggs was especially determined to keep his promise to himself, that he would watch over Luke no matter what.

Their conversation on the _Redemption_ hit Biggs hard, but he was able to recover quickly. He had been under a lot of stress at the time, and he'd been so desperate for Luke's return that the disappointment was far worse than it would have been otherwise. Luke was going through far more than he knew and all Biggs could do was be supportive. Blaming Luke and being bitter about it wouldn't be fair and it would only increase the tension between them.

He spoke to Luke soon afterwards, telling him that he'd be there for him no matter what. Luke was grateful but he remained distant for some time.

All Biggs could do was wait.

Months later Luke hatched a plan to rescue Han Solo. It required a lot of preparation and it would take some time before it could be carried out, so Luke elected to wait it out on Tatooine. He'd insisted that he needed some time alone to continue his training and build a new lightsaber for himself. Then the others would join him and they would put the first pieces of the plan into action.

Biggs wanted to go with Luke, for protection and to visit with his family and friends in Anchorhead while he was at it, but not only was Luke reluctant to have anyone with him, starfighter command wouldn't allow it either. They needed Rogue Leader where he was and Biggs was kept very busy.

He enjoyed being an X-wing pilot, and especially being the leader of the Alliance's elite squadron, but sometimes he wished he had the freedom to follow that ragtag group around the galaxy.

Maybe someday Biggs could get a promotion and be his own boss, or maybe just retire altogether. He and Luke had always talked about buying a ship together and going wherever they wished. Perhaps several years down the line they could finally make it a reality. Of course, right now everything was a giant, messy 'if'. The war complicated things and destroyed lives every day. So much was up in the air that making such long-term plans seemed pointless.

At the last minute, when Biggs had finally grown content with his task of staying behind, command suddenly approved his request to aid in Han's rescue and to Biggs' surprise, he was off to Tatooine. He, Luke, and the others spent only two or three days in Ben Kenobi's old house before it was time to sneak into Jabba's palace.

Biggs and Lando Calrissian got in posing as palace guards. Next, Threepio and Artoo went in, and Leia and Chewbacca shortly after.

There had been some doubt about Luke's plan but it went off about as Luke had anticipated it would. He'd given Jabba the chance to hand over Han peacefully—many chances, actually—but Luke had been nearly certain that Jabba wouldn't take them. He was a greedy, mean-spirited old hutt and he had no interest in bargaining.

Sure enough, Jabba refused and Luke had been forced to resort to—well it wasn't much of a Plan B if they'd anticipated having to use it in the first place. Plan A got tossed out the window just about the moment they stepped foot into the palace.

Artoo jettisoned Luke's new lightsaber from a hidden compartment and Luke drew it to his hand with the Force, easy as sneezing. He fought skillfully, elegantly, and Biggs caught himself watching him distractedly several times, before reprimanding himself. If he got too distracted he might wind up with a sizzling hole through his gut.

Still, Luke had evidently come a long way in his training since Dagobah. He could deflect blaster bolts with his lightsaber, jump several times higher and farther than was humanly possible, and he had speed and reflexes that Biggs' eyes couldn't even follow. Blaster fire sizzled past Biggs' face and he realized he'd gotten distracted again, firing off a few shots of his own and taking out three guards at once.

With Han thawed from the carbonite and everyone gathered on their 'borrowed' sand skiff, they made their escape and called the rescue a valiant success.

Han, Leia, Lando, Chewbacca, and Threepio boarded the _Falcon_ and left directly for the Alliance's rendezvous point. Luke took Artoo and said he had something to take care of first, and then he would meet up with everyone later. Biggs stopped him near his X-wing.

"Luke!" he shouted through the howling desert winds. A sandstorm had kicked up and they both had their heads covered, shielding their eyes with hoods and goggles. Biggs stepped close to Luke so they didn't have to shout. "Let me go with you."

Luke shook his head. "It won't take long, I promise. This is something I need to do by myself."

Biggs sighed quietly, but he gave in and nodded. "I can never quite seem to catch up with you these days."

Luke smirked. "I'll see you back at the base." He reached out and ran his hand down Biggs' arm, squeezed his wrist, then turned and climbed the ladder to his fighter's cockpit.

Biggs backed away and then stumbled through the sandstorm to his X-wing.

Home One was abuzz with news, briefings, and tireless training preparation. Every squad was on alert and every officer had their hands full. The Empire's new Death Star, bigger and more powerfully armed than the last, was nearing completion and it was time for the Alliance to make their move. If they didn't attack now that thing would be near unstoppable.

The plans secured by the Bothan Spy Network revealed a weakness that would be exploited by the fleet's fighter squadrons, while a ground unit was sent ahead to disable the battle station's shield generator on a nearby moon.

Luke returned from his stopover on Dagobah in the middle of the briefing, just in time to volunteer for Han's command crew. Biggs felt a bit of that wistfulness again, but he pushed it aside in favor of focusing on his own task.

He and the rest of Rogue Squadron were to make a direct assault on the Death Star. This time they would fly inside and take out the main reactor. It would be even more dangerous than the first Death Star trench run that he'd flown four years prior, but he felt confident that if it could be done once, it could be done a second time. He and Wedge would be the only pilots to ever make attacks on both Death Stars and, despite the potential danger and possible insanity of the mission, it thrilled him.

And just like any battle there was the inherent, unspoken knowledge that anyone might not make it back. Many of the faces spotted upon a stroll around the Mon Calamari cruiser might not be there upon their return.

The fighter squadrons were particularly famous for their enthusiasm prior to a fight. _Live hard, die young_ seemed to be their silent motto. Rogues whooped and hollered excitedly as they prepared at their stations, despite the tension brought about by potential loss.

Luke strode through the hangar, feeling somewhat nostalgic for the days when he would be sliding into his flight suit and commanding the squadron on their mission, ordering one or two over-zealous pilots to keep the chatter down on the main comm channel.

He watched the pilots almost enviously as he walked by. Some of them waved and wished him luck, while several noted that he was headed straight for Rogue Leader's station. Technically, for this battle he would be Red Leader. Wedge had suggested changing the name of the squadron back just for this mission, to honor the heroes who were lost at the Battle of Yavin.

Biggs' R2 unit was being lowered into its port as Luke approached, and Biggs himself appeared from under an S-foil, releasing an easy smile. "Hey, hotshot. You leaving too?"

"Yeah, the crew's waiting. I couldn't leave without wishing you good luck, though."

Biggs' smile faded a bit into something more somber. He studied Luke's expression and found his own emotions reflected back at him. This was yet another possible last goodbye and they both knew it. Of course, their natural reaction would be to feign a cocky attitude and tell each other they'd celebrate when they got back, but years of experience had drawn them well past the point of recognizing their own mortality. They had long since lost their youthful sense of invulnerability and the potential outcomes of this mission were staring them in the face.

It was difficult to find anything to say but Biggs finally managed. "Be careful." He reached up and squeezed Luke's arm. There was so much unspoken in that simple statement. Neither of them needed to say more than that.

Luke nodded. "You too. Not _too_ careful, though. Give those eyeballs a good chase." It was pilot humor but Luke's expression remained stoic, and his gaze never wavered.

Biggs grinned, but the muscles in his face fought it. Everything about their good humor was strained. "You know I will."

With nothing left to say and with too much dread hanging over them for more casual banter, Luke stepped smoothly forward and they hugged each other tightly. They stayed like that for a while, neither of them wanting to be one who let go first. Luke's fist gripped the back of Biggs' flight suit tightly and he pressed his cheek against his ear. Biggs kept both arms secured around Luke's middle as if he were the only thing holding him to the ground.

The time they spent like this stretched on, and soon their breathing was deep and hastened, despite that they'd hardly moved. Letting go seemed impossible, but even as he forced himself to slowly release his grip, Luke kept close and his nose brushed along Biggs' jaw. They were sharing breath in the small space between them, hands slowing to pause on shoulders.

Biggs' chin was on Luke's cheek, faint stubble scratching slightly and inciting new, unexpected sensations. They kept moving slowly until their faces were even, but they didn't stop there. Heat raced down Luke's spine when he felt warm breath on his lips, and his knees nearly failed under him, but he held tightly to Biggs.

They were tentative, testing their closeness, but closing the gap felt so natural, as if they'd done it a million times before. Then their lips met softly and the notion of familiarity was gone. This was so new and raw and Luke's lips touched along the shape of Biggs' mouth, learning him. Luke knew him so well, his eyes had roved his features so many times, had him memorized. _Feeling_ him was an entirely different experience and Luke almost forgot to breathe as he pressed into Biggs.

For the first few moments, just the feeling of their lips was enough. Then after any amount of time could have passed, more heat and wetness slid against Luke's lower lip and he let Biggs in, their tongues slicking hotly against each other. Biggs released a low moan that was barely there and it caught Luke in his chest, made him gasp.

This felt far better than Luke had ever been able to imagine, in all the years he spent wondering and pining. The real thing was always going to be better, and now that it was happening he couldn't justify why it took him so long to get here. He felt a rush and his head spun and there was simply nothing to his world but Biggs and his mouth and his hands…

… Which is probably why it took them both so long to realize that applause and raucous hoots and catcalls had broken out among the pilots gathered around them. They awkwardly and hesitantly broke away from each other, grinning in embarrassment, but the little celebration continued.

Someone from the back shouted, "It's about damn time!" Someone else whistled. Tycho Celchu could be heard in a rather victorious tone, "That's a hundred credits to me! Pay up, you shmucks!"

Wedge raised his eyebrows. "Hey, don't forget the bet I put down way back at Yavin."

Hobbie Klivian scoffed at him. "Wedge, I think we're all on the winning side of _that_ bet." Laughter rippled around them.

Just then Wes Janson descended the ladder at Biggs' station, a paint tool clutched in his teeth. He jumped down the last few rungs, removed the paint tool and gestured with it up at the hull of Biggs' ship. "I thought it was missing something."

In large, red letters he'd written out, 'I LOVE LUKE SKYWALKER. FEAR ME.'

Biggs' jaw dropped and Luke pinched the bridge of his nose. The other pilots burst into fits of laughter and some of them pointed or clapped.

Wes put his hands on his hips, surveying his art proudly. "Your enemies'll be wetting themselves in terror."

Biggs chuckled and shook his head at the sight. "Right, or laughing themselves to death. You might have saved me some work, Janson. Thanks."

"Any time, Rogue Leader." Wes beamed and turned to head for his station. Many of the other pilots did the same, apparently having gotten their fill of cheap entertainment for the moment.

Once the initial humiliation wore off, Luke was finally able to appreciate the thought that went into Wes' paint job. Alright, so it was pretty funny, and Biggs seemed pleased with it too. Luke tilted his head as if critiquing a masterpiece in a museum. "I think it looks pretty good. Any truth to it?" He gave Biggs a shy smile, the insinuation heavy in his question.

"Wes might have read my mind a bit," Biggs replied with a little smirk, his eyes darting to the floor but then roving slowly back up to meet Luke's gaze.

They stepped in close once again and moved at each other at the same time, initiating a deep, crushing kiss. Biggs' hands pressed into Luke's back and slid downward, pulling him as close as he could. Luke's fingers raked through Biggs' hair, maybe a little rougher than he should have been. With strands between his fingers his hands closed into fists and he held Biggs tightly against him, teeth against lips almost painful.

Their breaths were quick and their kissing was frantic and rhythmless. Luke knew he should have already been heading for the shuttle but every time he even thought about pulling away, all he could think was _just a little more…_

His lips tingled with the sensation of Biggs, his taste, his rough mustache on Luke's upper lip. It all felt incredible and he didn't want to stop. Not to mention, they were probably putting on quite the show for the other pilots, but neither of them seemed to care. This was one of those moments when you realized it could be your last with someone. Luke was making it count.

Someone nearby cleared their throat and it only just caught their attention. Luke reluctantly pulled away as he turned his head, and was somewhat startled to find Han standing there, obviously keeping some distance and trying not to look uncomfortable.

Luke and Biggs drew away from each other yet again, breathless and flushed, fixing collars and smoothing hair.

"Sorry to interrupt, kid, but we gotta get going." Han looked truly apologetic, too. He understood what it meant to say goodbye to someone right before a battle as well as anybody else.

Luke nodded. "Right. Sorry. I'll be there in a minute."

That's all Han seemed to need and he nodded quickly to Biggs before leaving them alone, though if one was looking closely they might have caught a tiny smirk on his face.

Now was the part neither one liked. Luke let out a deep, even breath and he slowly drew his gaze up to meet Biggs who seemed just as reluctant. He sensed Luke's sorrow, one that he'd been carrying with him since Bespin, one he still couldn't talk about, and that weighed on him heavily as he faced yet another turning point in his life.

Biggs brought up his hand and gently stroked Luke's cheek, his other hand loosely twining with his fingers at their sides. Luke leaned into him tiredly, the weight of the universe seemingly crushed upon him, and they both knew why Luke had let Biggs in now of all times.

They searched each other's faces for a moment and then Biggs told him softly, "I'll see you after we win this."

Luke couldn't smile but he fixed Biggs with a look of quiet conviction. "I wouldn't dare miss it."

They shared one last, gentle kiss, determined to have at least one that wasn't interrupted, and then Luke stepped slowly away, gradually releasing Biggs' hand.

He remembered the last instant he looked upon Biggs.


	12. Chapter 12

_The Battle of Endor forces Luke and Biggs to face entirely new challenges. Their lives are at stake, as well as the future of the entire Alliance. Then Luke must finally open up about the dark secret he's been hiding for months; the truth about his father._

* * *

With his face still flushed from the excitement of his first kiss shared with Biggs, Luke finally boarded the stolen Imperial shuttle to join the command crew for their trip to the Endor moon. Han had come to retrieve him while his fingers were still tangled in Biggs' hair so he was sheepishly avoiding looking anywhere but at the floor as he climbed into his seat.

"Sorry about the wait. Let's get going."

The silence after he spoke made Luke look up and peer around the cockpit to find Han and Leia exchanging glances, as if they'd just been talking about him before he boarded.

"What?" He was starting to feel as if he was going to get a lot of questions.

Leia looked somewhat peeved. "I don't know, Han won't tell me what's going on. What happened?"

Han shrugged defensively. "Hey, all I said is that it's none of my business. I just wanted to get out of here and Luke was taking his sweet time."

"Doing what?" Leia switched her attention back to Luke who was looking redder by the second.

"I was just saying goodbye to Biggs," he said quietly.

Han snorted. "Can't really say much when your tongue's down his throat, kid."

Luke's whole face started to heat up and he hid it in his hands. He couldn't see Leia but he could hear the surprised tone in her voice. "Biggs? Really?"

Han laughed as the engines warmed up. "Come on, the pilots have been putting down bets on how long it'd take them to come around since Yavin. Don't tell me you hadn't noticed."

"And maybe you hadn't noticed that I've been trying to run a rebellion. Excuse me if I don't keep up with the latest in hangar bay gambling."

"Four years ain't exactly the latest."

"_Any_ gambling, then!"

Just when Luke thought that they seemed to find a different topic to argue—er, talk about, he felt Leia's hand on his shoulder and heard her gentle voice. "I'm sorry, Luke. I'm very happy for you and Biggs. It sounds like you've been working toward it for a long time."

Finally lifting his face from his hands he gave Leia a shy but grateful smile. "Thanks, Leia."

"So," she lifted an eyebrow at Han and relaxed back into her seat, "who won the big prize money?" Her sarcastic tone suggested that she didn't actually care about the bet, but more about who she'd chew out later.

"Well, I didn't keep tabs on the smaller ones. The 'big prize money' hasn't been won yet but I imagine it won't be long now. That bet was on when they'd finally screw."

"Han!"

Luke's face went back into his hands.

* * *

Navigating the tight interior passageways of the Death Star took far more concentration than Biggs had anticipated. It kept his heart thudding and his eyes sharp. It was challenging; just the way he liked it. There were even some moments when he was reminded of threading the stone needle in Beggar's Canyon back home. It wasn't quite as tight as that, otherwise Lando in the _Millennium Falcon_ behind him wouldn't have had a chance no matter how good he was, but sometimes it got close.

There had been a few tense minutes earlier when it was discovered that the entire attack had been a trap. The Empire knew they were coming and the Death Star's shields were still up. Biggs' thoughts were on Luke and the command crew on the forest moon below. He could only imagine what they must have run into when they reached the control bunker. Perhaps they hadn't reached it at all.

He'd had to control his worry and focus on the battle. Finally, the shield had been taken down and Biggs' hopes were restored. Whatever happened down on that moon, he had a good feeling that Luke was just fine.

While out chasing TIE fighters, Biggs had caught one on his tail and managed a maneuver that sent it swerving out in front of him in the wrong direction while he pulled away. As it passed him he could have sworn he saw the pilot do a double-take at the hull of his ship before making an embarrassing collision with the heavy armor of one of the Alliance fleet's capital ships. Biggs almost felt sorry for the pilot. That wasn't exactly a very dignified way to go out… though he still made a mental note to tell Wes about it later.

Now he and Lando were traversing the quickly narrowing path towards the main reactor. It was getting smaller and tighter by the second, and just when Biggs was sure they'd run out of room the passage opened out into a vast cavern inside the heart of the massive battle station, the glowing reactor at its center.

"I see it," Biggs said as he led the way out of the tunnel.

"Alright, Biggs," Lando replied, "go for the power regulator on the north tower."

"Copy that, Gold Leader." Biggs shot towards his target, ready to fire when he was within range. "Stay close. Once this thing goes it's going to get hot in here real quick."

They would need to loop around and find the passageway out on the first try, otherwise they were toast. Biggs let off a single blast at the power regulator which made the reactor unstable and Lando followed him with as many shots as he could get in on the reactor as he passed it.

There was an explosion of blue light and before they could witness the fallout of the destroyed reactor, Biggs and Lando were already racing back through the passage.

Another, bigger explosion followed and this time an orange fireball could be seen out Biggs' rear viewport. It was chasing them and they couldn't afford to make any errors on the way to the surface.

* * *

As Luke maneuvered the shuttle away from the Death Star's hangar he could swear he saw flames licking the edges of the viewport just as he hit the thrusters. Sure enough, a fraction of a second later there was a blast behind him and he let out a breath of relief, knowing he just barely made it.

Lying on the floor of the shuttle in the passenger area, wrapped in the cape, was his father's armor. His body had become one with the Force and disappeared when he died, but Luke would use the armor to give him a proper funeral once he reached the moon's surface.

Luke felt ragged, his nerves were shot, he was beyond exhausted, he wasn't sure how he hadn't collapsed yet … but he was alive. The Emperor's Force lightning had left him sore and stiff and he was sure he had another bacta dip in his near future.

As he piloted the shuttle towards the moon he remained calm on the outside but his mind was a flurry of emotions and recent memories, trying to process what had just happened to him, and what this meant for the galaxy.

The Emperor was dead, and so was Vader. The Empire couldn't go on. It would continue to fight, sure, but it'd be limping terribly all the way until its dying breath.

Maybe Luke was focusing so hard on the bigger picture to keep from being tempted to glance behind him at the black armor he attempted to hide in the cape's fabric. All his life he'd spent believing his was father was already dead; but it had only just happened not even ten minutes ago and it was near impossible to wrap his head around.

Luke had cried briefly, quietly, but the Death Star's critical alarm had started blaring and he knew he had only minutes to make an escape. Even as he ran to the shuttle, dragging his father's empty armor, he couldn't hide a wistful smile. Biggs had done it. Just thinking of him renewed Luke's fervor to escape, to live and see him again.

Now he felt as if his thoughts were being pulled in far too many directions at once to focus on any one thing or feel any one emotion, and maybe that was for the best. He could grieve properly later. For now he had to face the others down on the moon. Feeling numb or scattered was better than making a scene.

They'd be celebrating, joyous, and they'd expect him to join in. The only one who'd have any idea what he'd just gone through was Leia… his sister; yet another new revelation, and a happy one. He needed more of those.

Then there was Biggs... Luke really didn't know what to expect with him. He knew that Luke had a secret so terrible that he couldn't even tell his best friend—no, he was far more than Luke's best friend now. And Luke had gone and allowed their romantic relationship to take hold, when he promised himself he would refrain until he could really open up to Biggs and tell him everything.

Perhaps it was time.

* * *

That was close. Biggs' fighter shot free of the tunnel and only just in time. For a moment he held his breath as the ensuing fireball made a brilliant display behind him. He wasn't sure if the _Falcon_ made it out, but he released his breath when he heard Lando over the comm channel, "Yeee-haw!"

Biggs grinned and he hit the thrusters hard, charging away from the station as quickly as he could, twisting around in his ejection seat to watch the Death Star explode for the second time in his life. The feeling it ignited in him was indescribable.

As he headed for the fleet, he noticed dozens of Imperial shuttles and other small ships that had made escapes and were running for it in every direction. "Home One, should we start herding 'em toward your tractor beam?"

"Affirmative, Red Leader," Admiral Ackbar's gravelly voice said over the comm.

"You heard him," said Lando "Fighters, engage only if necessary. Keep them from escaping but try to shoot to disable only."

"Biggs! There's one near you. It's headed for the moon," Hobbie alerted him over the comm.

"Copy, Red Four. I'm on him." Biggs saw it. That shuttle was gunning hard for the moon's surface. He attempted to open a channel to it, try to negotiate a surrender before having to be more convincing with a little laser fire. "Imperial shuttle, surrender or I'll be forced to open fire. Reverse your present course immediately."

A familiar voice crackled through the channel. "Excuse you, commander. Who do you think's flying this thing?"

"Luke?!" Biggs laughed joyfully. "Luke, I don't believe it! Wait—" he suddenly frowned, "—don't tell me you were on the Death Star. What in blazes were you doing on that thing?!"

Biggs could hear a sigh on the other end of the transmission.

"Never mind. Long story, right?"

"You got it."

"Well I'm sure I'll get to hear all about it later. I'll contact the ground forces, let them know you're coming."

"Thanks, Biggs. Though, uh—tell them I'll be a while."

"Uh… sure. Whatever you need."

He wanted to say more, to tell Luke how glad he was to hear he was okay, but Biggs had a job to do. The cleanup would take another hour or so at least and he'd surely be reprimanded if he wasted any time having a personal conversation while on duty.

* * *

It was night time at the Ewok village by the time Luke got there. He was sure he'd be arriving long after everyone else. You'd think it wouldn't take so long to gather enough wood for a funeral pyre in a forest of all places but he spent several hours on it.

In all honesty he hadn't been in that much of a hurry. It was a labor of love, a monument to his father, if a humble one. Luke had gone about his task slowly and with reverence. He wished he could do more but he didn't expect many others to have much interest in honoring his father the way he wanted to.

He was also somewhat dreading what would likely become an all-out party at the village, especially if even a small fraction of Rogue Squadron showed up.

Hopefully he could pull Biggs away and have a quiet talk with him, but he didn't like the idea of tainting the victory for Biggs with what he had to say. Then again, he knew he'd feel a bit better if he could just tell someone. Now that it was all over, getting it off his chest was sounding better and better, even if he was still nervous at how Biggs might take it.

_This is Biggs_, he told himself. _How do you think he'll take it?_ Surprisingly well, as he usually did. Shocked, sure, worried for Luke maybe, but he'd also be supportive, understanding, caring, regardless of his own feelings. That was one of the reasons Luke was—he could say it now—so in love with him. No one made him feel wanted and safe like Biggs could.

However, there was still one concern Luke had left over and it had more to do with practical reasoning and less to do with Biggs' own feelings. Being involved with Luke could affect his future and upon realizing that, it could make him hesitant about their relationship. He would be right to be worried, too, which was why Luke was dreading the conversation.

The village was alight with drum beat music and dancing in the flickering firelight. The celebration was already well on its way. Luke paused on a platform to watch, seeing many faces he recognized and many more who were close to him. They were all smiling and joyful and for a moment Luke entertained the thought of staying right here, watching from afar. They didn't need his melancholy.

Then he spotted Biggs, smiling and sharing stories with a couple others but occasionally he'd glance up and search around him, as if looking for someone. Luke knew exactly who he was looking for.

That was what finally drew him forward.

His arrival caught the attention of quite a few people. They all started for him with bright smiles, ready to offer hugs and handshakes, but Biggs pushed past all of them. His joy radiated from him through the Force and Luke couldn't help but grin in return as they closed in toward each other. Biggs flung his arms around Luke with rather a lot of enthusiasm, and though Luke didn't have the energy to match him, he let himself lean into Biggs and the warm circle of his arms melted away much of his tension.

They pulled apart only enough to kiss. Luke held Biggs' face in his hands and for a moment he was able to forget that there was anyone else around.

Before too long though, Biggs knew he had to let Luke visit with the others and he reluctantly let him go. Leia had an especially warm hug for him and Han got one too. Luke was more than pleased to see so many of his friends safe, Lando, Chewbacca, Wedge, a good majority of Rogue Squadron. Many of them asked him questions about what happened on the Death Star but he'd had to wave all of them off, insisting they'd all surely hear about it eventually.

He knew they would. Sooner or later Luke would have to be debriefed by Alliance high command and then the news would spread as it always did. The idea made him supremely uncomfortable but there wasn't a lot he could do to stop it. Part of it was a personal matter, but most of it was important to the Alliance and the war.

When it seemed like he'd shaken hands with just about everyone, some of them several times over, Luke finally breathed a sigh of relief. Even when it wasn't a formal event, he'd never been very good at social gatherings. He knew someone who was though, and just when Luke was wishing that Biggs could always be there to diffuse the social tension he always felt with his charms and charisma, an arm snaked around his waist from behind.

The wait was over. He could be with Biggs now, without being faced by imminent doom (at least for the moment), and without worry for how Biggs felt. They could be together. He hoped. There was still one more dark cloud of worry hanging over his head and even though he didn't think it would bring the world crashing down around them, he knew he had to tell Biggs before they went any further. It was only fair.

Luke took Biggs' hand and turned around to face him. "Let's find somewhere to talk."


	13. Chapter 13

_Luke finally tells Biggs all about his dark secret, his last fight on the Death Star, and his fears about the future. Biggs' reaction is one he hadn't been expecting._

* * *

Luke had had plenty of time to think things through during the hours he spent gathering wood and building a funeral pyre.

Eventually others would find out the truth behind his parentage and once that happened, even though he was sure the people closest to him would think no less of him for it, other people might. It was funny sometimes how people worked so hard to find patterns in things, hold people responsible for the actions of those they were associated with. Luke would be watched very closely and get criticized harshly for even minor mistakes.

He was pretty certain that he'd have a very difficult time holding any position that required positive social standing and popularity. It was why he was planning on keeping his relation to Leia a secret for now and it was the one thing he wasn't planning on telling high command. Leia was more than welcome to if she thought it was necessary, but Luke refused to make that decision for her. If the general public were to find out that she was the daughter of Darth Vader, it could ruin her career as a politician forever.

Luke wasn't too concerned for himself because he'd never had any interest in politics, at least not in a vocational sense, but he knew that Biggs was very interested in a military career. While his success wouldn't necessarily be dictated by popular opinion, certain aspects could get swayed if it was found that a highly-ranked Alliance officer was romantically involved with the son of one of the most heinous, bloodthirsty warlords of all time.

And if Biggs planned on one day helping to rebuild the Republic, that could greatly affect his trustworthiness to the ambassadors of other worlds.

Luke and Biggs had never really discussed their long-term career plans with each other, mostly because looking that far ahead during a war just wasn't practical, but Luke was pretty sure that if they both stayed with the Alliance that was what they'd wind up doing. Rebuilding the Republic sounded like a dream, but being a major part of that was feeling like more and more of a lost cause to Luke. He was sure he could find something to do, he just hated the idea of accidently tarnishing the Alliance's reputation, and he wanted to drag as few people down with him as possible.

This whole thing was a mess, plain and simple. High command would attempt to diffuse it, but there might be only so much they could do; they could keep it a secret for as long as possible and pray, and that was about it.

Of course, keeping it a secret might backfire too. If it was discovered that the Alliance was intentionally trying to hide it, it could make them appear deceptive. People hated feeling deceived, even if they would have reacted just as badly if they'd heard the news upfront. It was a lose-lose situation just about any way you looked at it.

Luke would let them worry about that. His job was to simply give them the information. He could do that. It would be difficult but he would manage.

Perhaps Biggs could give him some advice. They were down on a lower platform, away from the celebration and leaned against a railing overlooking the forest. Luke was nervous and wanting to get straight to the heart of the issue but no matter how much Biggs was warned, he remained relaxed and unworried. Biggs was a very confident person but sometimes Luke thought he was a bit over-confident. He'd once told Biggs that it would wind up getting him into trouble someday.

Biggs seemed to notice Luke's jitters and placed a comforting hand on his back. "Relax. What could you possibly have to tell me that would make me turn away from you? That's what you're worried about isn't it?"

Luke let out a soft breath. "It's a bit more than just that."

Biggs still didn't seem convinced. "Well whatever it is, I'm here for you and I always will be. Nothing will ever change that."

It was a nice sentiment and, while it was true that Biggs had never once turned his back on Luke, this matter was very, very different from anything they'd ever faced before. Luke remained skeptical and he could tell that Biggs was baffled by that.

"I appreciate it. I just—I won't blame you at all if you change your mind. You're free to do what you need to protect yourself."

Biggs didn't reply, he just gave him a very serious look with a tilt of the head that said he definitely didn't plan on doing anything of the sort.

Luke took another breath and nodded. Maybe he should just be grateful that Biggs was going into this with such a positive attitude.

"Months ago you found out that something happened to me during my encounter with Vader on Bespin, but I couldn't tell you what it was. To be honest I was still very confused myself and it didn't feel right telling anyone about something I wasn't even sure of. That and… it was a very personal matter." Luke paused to collect his thoughts. "Biggs, how much did I ever tell you about my father?"

Already the conversation seemed to have gone in a direction Biggs hadn't expected. He raised his eyebrows but answered the question without too much hesitation. "Well, you told me he was a pilot, fought in the Clone Wars, he was a Jedi, and old Ben Kenobi was his master. Grew up on Tatooine just like us, didn't he?"

Luke nodded. "I'm glad you seem to remember the pieces that are actually true."

Biggs furrowed his brows, and looked like he was attempting to recall anything he might have forgotten. "And… you told me he was killed by Vader."

Luke briefly met his eyes, then shifted his gaze back to the forest floor beneath them. "I thought so too. Ben told me that years ago."

"… You mean, Vader didn't kill him?"

Luke shook his head. "No, he didn't. Not really."

"What do you mean, 'not really'?"

The air around Luke started to feel warm and he hugged his arms with elbows leaned on the railing, his thoughts a flurry of panic and confusion. _Calm_, he told himself. _Just get it out_.

"My father wasn't killed, he was turned. To the dark side. The Emperor was a Sith Lord and he converted my father, had him take on a new name, destroy the man he used to be, and abandon his family."

Luke didn't dare look at Biggs yet but there was silence next to him.

"At Bespin he'd asked me to join him and help him overthrow the Emperor. Last night I could feel his presence near us and I knew that I had to turn myself in to keep the mission safe. My father was once a good man. He couldn't kill me on Bespin and I knew that he could never do it. There was still good in him and I had to try to redeem him."

Luke found his breath was coming faster. He had to pause to catch his breath some. This was stressful, speaking this way, feeling as if he was trying to justify his actions.

"I did it. It worked, and he saved me and destroyed the Emperor. But by that time—" Luke realized belatedly that Biggs may not fully understand the sorrow that he felt for this man's death, father or no, and he tried to control his emotions. "He'd been fatally injured and—there was nothing I could do. He died in my arms. My father died today."

There was a long silence, then Luke finally heard Biggs speak, softly, barely above a whisper. "Vader."

Luke hadn't yet said his name. Perhaps he'd done that on purpose, intentionally avoided saying it, but now he had to. "When I was born my father was turned to the dark side and he became Darth Vader. But I fully believe that he died Anakin Skywalker."

The forest around them seemed louder now, the sounds of insects and small night animals almost deafening in the absence of speech. It remained that way for several agonizing moments. Luke forced himself to turn his gaze to Biggs, as much as his body fought it.

Biggs was staring at him dazedly, and when Luke finally looked at him he turned his eyes to the ground. He was shocked, that was plain to see. This had clearly been beyond anything he'd imagined.

Luke tried to think of something else to say but nothing came to him. He wished Biggs would say something. The silence was becoming almost unbearable.

Finally, Biggs did speak. "Luke, I'm—I'm so sorry."

That was unexpected and Luke looked at him in mild surprise. This was the first time anyone had shown him anything like sympathy. Up until this point the whole thing had been treated like something Luke should be ashamed of. Ben and Yoda had seemed reluctant and disappointed to have to speak of the matter. Leia even seemed disgusted by it.

Luke shook his head. "You don't have to be." He didn't feel yet as if he deserved sympathy. He'd made a gamble that could have cost the Alliance greatly on his good faith assumption that Darth Vader could be saved.

Biggs was taken aback. "Luke… you lost your father today."

To hear someone else say it made it somehow finally hit home. Perhaps something in Luke's expression changed, or maybe Biggs merely guessed at what he needed right at that moment. He pulled Luke in toward him by the arm and held him tightly against his chest. Luke didn't fight it but it took him a moment to relax into Biggs. He lowered his head onto his shoulder and his hands clung to his flight suit.

Then inexplicably Luke felt his throat tighten and tears sting his eyes. It didn't feel like the proper response to him but he was finally realizing just how ragged and spent he was. This emotion wasn't just for his father; it was for everything that had built up inside him ever since Bespin. He was ready for it to be over with but he knew he still had such a long way to go. It was beyond daunting but for the first time it seemed like he finally had someone on his side, and he felt like he could finally release what he'd been holding onto so tightly with fists and white knuckles.

"Gotta admit, you were right," Biggs said softly against his hair. "I wasn't ready for anything like this. But I haven't run away yet. I'm not going anywhere, Luke."

"Things are going to get worse." Luke slowly pulled back so he could look Biggs in the eyes.

"How?"

"When people find out that one of the 'Heroes of the Alliance' is the son of Darth Vader, imagine what kind of damage that could do. Anyone who's associated with me—"

"People are going to think what they want and there's not a lot anyone'll be able to do about it. Still doesn't mean I'm going anywhere."

"Yeah but at some point I'm going to be expected to answer for my father, or at least my decision to try to help him."

"Luke, I sure as hell hope you don't hold everyone to the actions of their parents. _My_ dad's managed to make himself an awful lot of enemies back home."

Luke gave him an incredulous look. "Biggs, my father murdered millions and tried to take over the galaxy. Yours buys cheaply from local farmers and then drives up market prices for a profit."

Biggs paused and then nodded. "… Point taken. But the logic holds. You are _not_ your father, and you never will be. You already faced exactly what he did and you defeated it. Then you went above and beyond and helped _him_ defeat it. And Luke—" Biggs gripped Luke's arms, "If you hadn't done what you did, the Emperor would have probably escaped. We set the Empire back by destroying yet another Death Star, but I think it's the Emperor's death that's going to bring it all crashing down. _You_ did that."

Luke's eyes darted to the floor of the platform. "My father did that."

"Because of you."

There was no arguing that point and Luke brought his gaze up to look at Biggs once again. It was amazing how Luke had brought him down here to confess something horrible, and Biggs somehow managed to turn it into a story of Luke's heroism. Luke slowly shook his head. "Sometimes I'm amazed I didn't turn into an egotistical jerk hanging around you."

Biggs grinned. "Hey, I'm only telling you what I see. From the very beginning, I knew I saw greatness in you. All I had to do was make you see it in yourself."

"And what about you?" Luke never imagined himself becoming the hero of anything. Biggs always seemed much more like hero material to him.

"Me?" Biggs wrinkled his nose. "My story's boring. Nobody wants to hear about the rich kid whose parents groomed him for success."

"I don't think that's what your story's about."

"No? Then what is it about?"

"To me, heroes aren't people who do great things. They're people who do things for others, and see far beyond themselves. Sure, your dad always wanted this life for you. He was always bragging that his son was going to be a hero of the rebellion… probably louder than he should have."

It was no secret that Huff Darklighter hated the Empire with a burning passion and admittedly, Luke always respected that about him. He used his money to give Biggs the best possible chance of becoming an ace pilot and moving up the ranks quickly. No one had it coming to him more than Biggs did. Though sometimes it seemed like Huff went a little too far and only did those things so he could live vicariously through his son. His efforts were always a little selfish.

Biggs made a face and nodded in agreement. He was well aware of his father's intentions.

"But that's not what you're all about. You were always aware of your privilege and you used it to help others. You taught me how to fly. You were always getting the others off my back and you helped me prove to them, and to myself, that I could do anything I wanted. If it wasn't for you I'd probably still be stuck on Tatooine, picking up where my uncle left off and spending the rest of my life tending a moisture farm."

Biggs shrugged it off. "All I did was give you a nudge in the right direction. You did the rest yourself."

"But that's not all. You didn't have to do any of those things. In fact, sometimes you set aside your own dreams to help me. You could have applied for the academy and left Tatooine that very same year we met; you were old enough! But you stuck around. For _five years_. Why did you do that?"

Biggs was starting to see what Luke was getting at and his gaze was lowered. "I had to look out for you."

"You put your _entire life_ on hold just to look out for me. Do you remember how furious your dad was? That was the whole reason he always hated me, because he thought I was holding you back."

This time Biggs didn't reply, he just let out a soft sigh through his nose.

"I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you. My father killed the Emperor, and I saved my father, but you got me here. Any honor and recognition that I might get for what I did should go to you."

Biggs quickly straightened. "No, it shouldn't."

"Yes! Yes it should, by _your own logic_ it should."

Again, Biggs couldn't argue and he sighed once more, a bit louder this time. He studied Luke thoughtfully for a moment, then finally said, "Well then why don't we go back up to the party and celebrate this victory together?"

Luke slowly smiled. This was Biggs' way of accepting the compliment but attempting to brush it off at the same time. It was a very Biggs thing to do and Luke couldn't help but be amused at him. "Just one more thing," he said before grabbing the front of Biggs' flight suit and pulling him in for a slow, affectionate kiss. Biggs smiled against his lips.


	14. Chapter 14

_The celebration in the Ewok village runs long into the night, but Luke and Biggs decide to sneak away and have their own celebration. At last they can finally be together._

* * *

The best part of the party, for Luke, was seeing the joy on everyone's faces, watching them celebrate with each other and be happy. Even if he didn't want to be in the midst of it, he could feel it and know that things would get better because of what they'd done today, and that was enough for him.

He stuck close to Biggs, leaned against him, held his hand, smiled whenever Biggs kissed his temple or whispered something sweet in his ear, and then later they collapsed into a wicker chair together to watch those who were still on their feet. It was draped with the skins of some local fauna and it was plenty big enough for the both of them—probably an Ewok-sized sofa of sorts. Luke had one leg propped across Biggs' lap and his arm around his shoulders. Biggs clung tightly to Luke's waist, both arms around him with his forehead against Luke's cheek. It was a long moment of peace and clarity. They knew they needed each other, and now they could both be there. The mutual understanding of their feelings was better than even the physical contact itself… but that was still pretty nice.

Several times Biggs had sneakily, but politely convinced people to leave them alone when they'd been approached. He was happy to socialize tonight but he knew Luke wasn't, and frankly, he'd much rather be with him than with anyone else. This was their night.

Even in their youth Biggs had often gotten Luke out of stressful social situations, as he knew he never handled those well on his own. It was an understanding they'd shared ever since.

It started to get late, and Luke could feel Biggs' head getting heavier against him. His fingers threaded and stroked Biggs' short, dark hair gently as their slow breathing gradually synchronized. Once he even caught Leia's gaze from across the platform and she grinned at him knowingly. He smiled back.

For a long while Luke felt utterly content, even blissful. He forgot about his worries and allowed himself to get lost in the heaven of Biggs' company. His fingers gradually trailed down the side of Biggs' neck and his eyes travelled down Biggs' body, even if it was mostly hidden in a baggy flight suit. Luke imagined unzipping it and sliding his hand over warm skin, the sounds Biggs might make… he could feel his cheeks heating up.

Suddenly feeling unable to sit still, Luke craned his neck to get a glimpse of Biggs' face. "Hey, you awake?"

The arms around Luke's waist tightened as Biggs lifted his head, looking at Luke with bleary eyes. "I am now."

Luke grinned sheepishly, "Sorry."

Biggs shook his head and then rested it on Luke's shoulder again. "Mmm, I'm not sleepy, I'm just… content." It was obvious that Biggs _was_ a little sleepy. They all were after the long day. Though despite how much Luke knew he needed to rest, his body was awake and a bit excited now. He nudged Biggs gently.

"I was wondering if you might want to go somewhere else… where we can be alone."

The insinuation was heavy in his voice and Biggs lifted his head much more quickly this time, eyes intense and a tiny wrinkle at the corner of his mouth. His gaze traveled down Luke's body, the way Luke had done to him a moment ago, and he grinned, then leaned in to kiss Luke without much warning.

It was slow at first, but their minds were both following the same route, stuck in the same fantasy, and right before Luke could give in to the overwhelming urge to let his hands wander, Biggs broke off the kiss. "Yeah, let's go." He quickly started urging Luke out of his lap while Luke clambered to his feet, chuckling and reaching for Biggs' hand.

A few knowing glances followed them as they maneuvered through the crowd. They tried to slip through as unnoticed as possible but just as they reached the staircase to the platform, a voice called after them, "Bugger 'im good, Darklighter!" Wedge was obviously drunk. The way he toasted them from afar with a whole half-drunk bottle of whatever sickly sweet liquor the Ewoks brewed confirmed that.

So much for slipping out quietly. Now the whole party was laughing and applauding as they made their escape. Luke simply tried to hide his reddened face as he disappeared down the stairs but Biggs waved and gave a mischievous grin before following Luke.

Their first attempts to find a place that might offer some privacy for the night took them around the Ewok village, sticking their heads inside a number of huts. Most of them were already occupied by disgruntled Ewok families who had already gone to bed, primarily due to having young children. One hut had even been claimed first by another amorous couple. Luke didn't get to see who it was. He was merely ushered away by Biggs who had quickly withdrawn his head from the doorway. "Nope, nope. Don't go in there." Later Biggs would whisper to him that he was pretty sure it had been Wes and Hobbie.

Finally after exhausting every possibility in the whole village, Luke suggested they just find a comfy spot of dirt down on the forest floor. Normally the Ewoks insisted upon sleeping up high, away from the dangerous predators that lurked below. But after all of the explosions and blaster fire that happened in the area within the last day or two, it was pretty safe to say that any wild animals would be staying far, far away for the next little while.

Besides, Luke felt confident that the Force would wake him up if any danger approached.

They grabbed as many pelts and blankets as they could carry from a supply hut and began the trek down the rickety stairs to the forest floor. The sounds of the party were left behind as they stepped into a quiet, isolated thicket of ferns. No one would see them if they happened to look over a railing.

The cool air and quiet sounds of the night welcomed them as they started to lay out their blankets, but they only managed a couple with the rest in a messy pile before Luke was sliding into Biggs' lap, his legs straddled on either side. They found each other's lips in the dark, clumsy and tentative, testing each other as new lovers and learning how to move as one. It would take time, and for now they would be unsynchronized but satisfyingly raw and fervent.

Luke was gripped tightly in Biggs' arms, pulled against him as his fingers brushed across Biggs' angled jaw, then down his neck to the zipper of his flight suit. Biggs had Luke's belt loosed with quick jerk of the buckle, and tossed into a heap by their side.

They breathed heavily against each others' lips, quickly finding an unsteady rhythm and sticking to it, if for no other reason than desperation to be rocking against each other with little interruption by things that didn't matter.

* * *

Here was Biggs, pulling on Luke to get him closer, as if they couldn't get close enough; loving him, wanting him.

So many years Luke spent wishing desperately that he could be with Biggs this way, trying to picture what it would be like. He was very young then and idealistic about the world, and he took Biggs' presence for granted. Luke saw him as an unattainable, almost mystical goal, something he would never have but simultaneously something that would always be present and dangled in front of him. It took some time for him to realize that they could have never been together back then. Not like that.

With their roles in the war came sacrifice and distractions, sometimes an abundance of time spent apart. Biggs' year at the academy while Luke stayed home was the first time he really started to come to terms with just how deep his feelings went, and how much they made him hurt.

No matter how strongly he felt for Biggs, no matter how true he thought his love was, it was the pain of being apart from him that really taught him what they were all about.

After returning from Bespin Luke learned that sometimes he would have to choose to be apart, learned how to recognize when he had to make sacrifices to protect Biggs. Not only did he make them, he struggled through them and fought and clawed his way into the nearest form of stability so that they could be together.

This is how it was meant to be.

* * *

Biggs' fingertips pressed into his back and dug all the way down, gripped his shirt, and tugged the hem out of his pants. With cool air on his skin and Biggs' hands exploring his smooth, corded back, Luke arched into him with a sigh that ruffled the dark hair behind his ear.

He tugged the flight suit's zipper, lacking any patience he might have had before and pulled it downward until he couldn't go any further. Biggs ducked and tilted his head, nudging into the crook of Luke's neck and closing his mouth around the first patch of warm, tender skin he found.

Their bodies were very warm now, faces flushed and heat pooling in their bellies. Frustration and need eventually drove them to tug impatiently at closures and pull out of sleeves turned inside-out while each garment was tossed in any direction.

Warm, almost-bare bodies pressed together and Biggs released a soft moan against Luke's lips, then found himself getting pushed onto his back.

* * *

In their youth Biggs and Luke were called the two shooting stars. It started out as a little inside joke because they were almost never seen apart from each other, attached at the hip and racing through canyons faster than anyone's eyes could follow.

Gradually it became who they were, silent knowledge that they would be together forever in some way or another. They would plan out their graduation and the ship they would buy with their pooled money and how they would be partners, but it was always understood to be more than just that. The others picked up on it too, Camie and Fixer, Windy and Deak, and even Tank to some extent.

Biggs couldn't imagine his life without Luke. They reached a certain point and that was it. Luke was the long fall, the free spirit, the deep passion that Biggs had always looked for but somehow missed in his privileged youth.

He'd always fancied himself a true, honest, and virtuous person, only to later find that he hardly knew the meaning of those words until he met Luke. He was utterly humbled, and thoroughly taken with Luke's goodness and fire and selflessness. There was simply no one else who could throw him for such a loop, know him and understand him and see into his very soul.

If anything ever happened to either of them, he knew they would always be together regardless. They would carry each other in their memories and in their very being for the rest of their lives.

* * *

A black leather-gloved hand pressed against Biggs' chest, held him in place while Luke explored him with his lips and tongue. The long but tight muscles in Biggs' abdomen twitched at Luke's light touches. He kept moving downwards but his eyes periodically glanced up, roved the skin and soft dips of Biggs' stomach and chest that shone pale in the dim light. Then he caught Biggs' gaze, eyes dark and wanting and his brows furrowed softly as he watched.

He reached for the gloved hand on his chest, rested his hand over it, then slowly started pulling it off by each finger, one at a time. Luke looked like he was going to protest but changed his mind, curiously watching Biggs slide the glove off of his damaged prosthesis. He was entirely gentle and his fingers brushed the charred synthflesh over slightly-exposed wiring and metal.

Gradually Luke's fingers closed around Biggs' hand and they stayed clasped like that against his chest while Luke favored him with his tongue. He tugged at Biggs' flight suit, pulling it below his waist to explore places that made Biggs' head fall back and his lips part with soft moans.

It was teasing, tormenting, and the sounds Biggs made set a fire blazing in the pit of Luke's stomach. He lunged upward to capture Biggs' mouth and the sounds against his lips, resting his full weight on top of him.

Biggs had run out of patience. His arms fully gripped around Luke's waist and Luke felt weightless for a split second as he was lifted and flipped onto his back. It made his head spin and his heart thud and within seconds his pants were being tugged off of him. Biggs' expression was feral and intense. It was a look Luke had never seen on him before and such a thrill rushed through him at the knowledge that it was his doing. Biggs looked like that because of him.

He grinned broadly in response.

The Endor moon's cool night air was harsh on his skin and made him suddenly hyper-aware of just how naked he was. Biggs' dark eyes wandered up his body and soon he was crawling to Luke, between his legs and then settling himself down, covering him with warmth and smooth skin and arms tucked around him.

Neither of them was concerned with grace or skill. It was the furthest thing from their minds as they focused on each other, learning and exploring as their rhythm hastened and became demanding and restless.

Fingernails scraped and deep, quickened breaths turned skin damp. Through the haze of his awareness, while clinging tightly to Biggs as they rocked against each other naked on the blanket under the stars, Luke tucked his mouth close to his ear.

"Biggs… I love you."

Several huffed breaths and heartbeats he could hear, and then Biggs whispered fervidly with his forehead against his neck, "Oh, Luke… Luke. I love you too."

* * *

Biggs' nose brushed Luke's as they lay quietly, a blanket shared across them and arms draped over shoulders and waists. With quiet, earnest affection Luke tilted up his head to leave a soft kiss on Biggs' lips. They both smiled and Biggs reached up with one hand to brush his fingers lightly through Luke's sandy hair.

"You'll protect me if anything comes for us in the night?" Biggs uttered, his voice almost loud against the peaceful forest. The party finally began to die down an hour ago or so.

"Alright, but you have to protect me too." Luke's smirk was only visible in the darkness due to their closeness.

"That's going to be some sight if we have to fight off a creature with no pants on."

Luke chuckled. "I don't even know how but you know someone in Rogue would hear about it."

"They're probably hiding in the trees right now." Biggs glanced upward at the enormous pines stretching to the sky and towering above them, but all was dark and quiet.

"If that's true then they can fight off the monsters for us." Luke pulled gently on Biggs' arm and urged him to rest against his chest. Biggs complied eagerly, if sleepily, and nuzzled into Luke's neck while sliding an arm around his middle.

They quickly fell asleep and stayed that way for several hours. Only stirring once, after half-awake kisses were exchanged, their lips pressed to necks and earlobes until heat filled them and they made love again.

Spent and exhausted, sleep found them even more quickly than before and they stayed content and in love in each other's arms through the night.


End file.
